affecting my marriage...over

From: toni welsh (
Thu Oct 28 07:54:15 1999

I hate to write to any of you this morning, but I have no where to turn now. My 18 yera anniversary is Saturday, and or relation ship is falling apart fsat. I do not think I can deal with this day alone, after a awful night last night. I have cried so much, when I got up I could not open my eyes, they were not this swollen since grandma died in June.

I cannot beleive the way the evening went, first I had my handicapped sister and I was trying to bath her, she is 140, and I weigh 97 now, she is rough, then her and I came out to the kitchen, and my son went out to light the gas grill, when he turned it on and hit the switch, I looked out and I saw a huge ball of yellow, and he yelled, and he could not see, it happened so fast I did not know what happened. He was fine, but it had scared him too. Well, since that happened my husband got angry, making fun of me, and out of the blue, I told him I do not love him anymore, and I removed my rings, and told him I do not want them any more. I do not know why I said this, he has shut me off for a few days, but I have kept my dealing with things with me to my self. I would go on forever if I talked about this, but I think the marriage is rocky as hell, and now I am scared, if I lose my husband all I have is dad and my son, his girlfriend who I adore hurt me too! I feel like my life is over, as I type this, THE TEARS WILL NOT DRY, I CANNOT KEEP CRYING LIKE THIS! WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN LIFE GETS TO BE TOO MCH. SOO SCARED! The arguing did not stop most of the night, too long, I am now convinced men do not uderstand!

I paged my counselor, and she could not talk and when she called back, I missed hercall. Hate to bother them after hours!

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