Subject: Re: SSI Disability
Hi Alex and all my fellow sufferers, Alex, may I ask how much you receive for SSI Disability? I lost my job this last February because of my AARD/CAPPS though they would never admit that this was the reason I was laid off. I was devastated! I have been struggling with major depression issues as well as the adhesions/pain/meds/nausea/major constipation due to possible partial blockages in my intestines. My poor husband doesn't understand why I don't just jump right back into the job market. Why...here is a normal day for me: Every morning I wake up with varying degrees of nausea. I take enough pills to constitute a meal. Neurontin and Morphine Sulfate for pain, Cymbalta and Wellbutrin for depression, Stool softener, vegetable laxative and metamucil for constipation, and Reglan for nausea. I get up and start moving around and the two sites where I am sure I have new adhesions start hurting. If I do anything...make the bed, do laundry, anything - I start sweating so much that my clothing becomes soaked through. Plus if I do anything strenuous my lower back starts hurting too and the adhesion sites start spiking with pain. Lately I have had to resort to taking several doses of Miralax to get things soft enough in there just to have a bowel movement. I can tell when solid matter is trying to pass through the two suspected partial blockage sites because it really hurts there. I have even had to resort to taking Citrate of Magnesia a couple of times after going 10 to 15 days without having a bowel movement. When I finally do "go" it is usually painful. I usually can't eat anything until after 12 noon or so when my nausea finally subsides to manageable levels. I had an IQ of 150 but who knows what damage the long term use of the pain meds have reduced me to. They dull my brain so much that I can't stand myself anymore but if I try to cut back on them I get really sick to my stomach and dizzy. If I don't take my 2:00 pm neurontin my nausea gets worse. There is a small time period during the early afternoon where I can actually function enough to work on my doll store, work on my resume and portfolio, look for a job, do household tasks, etc. If I push myself too hard then I have to go lay down and recover from the pain spiking, nausea and dizziness. I often go to bed without dinner after taking another battery of pills. I try to get things done but I can't help but feel "Whats the use". I have good days where I am only a little sick and in pain and bad days where I am a useless lump of flesh and bones. When I was going to work I would have some good days where I got things done despite the pain and the meds and then there were a lot of really bad days where I felt so awful that I couldn't drive home so I just sat at my desk and suffered. I would rather suffer at home but our finances have been hit hard by my being laid off so I have to find a job soon. I wish my doll store was more lucrative but I just can't seem to get things done in a timely enough manner so that it would bring in enough money to keep us going. That's why I want to know how much SSDI would be. Maybe if I could suppliment my doll store income with the SSDI it would be enough. I do have some bright spots in my life. Even though he doesn't really understand what I am going through, my husband is very loving and supportive. I know he gets really frustrated too and it hurts him to see me sick and in pain all the time. My illness has changed him though, just as it has changed me. We don't laugh very much anymore. We are always in a high degree of stress and tend to see the negative much more often than the positive. It doesn't make for a very happy household. I often can't help to think that he would be so much better off without me. My son lives with us right now. He has a good heart and is also loving and supportive to me. He does add a degree of stress to the situation however, because he needs to find a job and go back to school, which was the original plan when he moved in. He had a job but was laid off due to some major dissagreements with his manager. We are all struggling with clinical depression. Since he doesn't have a job or unemployment coming in, he does most of the chores around the house to pay for his room and board. That does lift some of the burden for keeping the house from becoming totally filthy. I used to keep a clean and tidy house before this illness hit. We have two Corgi's doggies who just brighten up our lives so much. They are little fuzzbundles of unconditional love! I am so thankful that we brought them into our lives. My dolls give me a lot of happiness when I actually have the strength to work with them. I get so frustrated when I want to do so much with them but then I feel too awful to do anything at all. I am so tired of it all. I sleep too much because when I am asleep I escape the pain and nausea and hopelessness of my situation. I am sorry that this is such a long missive but I haven't posted for a long time and I guess that I have a lot of issues I needed to vent. Mea Culpa! Thank you for "listening". It helps me hang on by the thin thread still attaching me to life. Jeanette
> Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:16:43 -0500
> From: tracy.joslin@adhesions.org
> To: adhesions@dns.obgyn.net
> Subject: SSI Disability
>
> From: adhesions@adhesions.org [mailto:adhesions@adhesions.org] On Behalf
Of
> Alex Bromberg
> Sent: Monday, June 18, 2007 2:03 PM
> Subject: SSI Disability
>
> Hi Denise, I am on SSI Disability.I live in Georgia and believe that it is
> done the same in all states.I went to SSI appointed psychologist too.I had
a
> lawyer which,in my opinion made a major difference.I was turned down twice
> when I sent the information on my own.I then had my case reviewed with a
> social security judge in the Federal Courthouse.I was awarded SSI and was
> paid for all the time back to when I first applied for it.It took over 2
1/2
> years.I can tell you more if you like. Good Luck, Alex