I think we all understand where you're coming from, there comes a point where enough is enough and it's time to start relying on our own inner gifts(which we all possess) to find peace with ourselves and our altered bodies.
I have tried many things but nothing has helped as much as working with my mind through meditation, breathing and yoga. Jon Kabat-Zinn's book, Full Catastrophe Living is an excellent place to start if you are truly open and wanting to have a more positive and meaninful life inspite of your pain.
Hugs to you...hang in there!
Janet