I am sorry that your pain has slowly returned, it is hard to accept it isn't it.... we get our hopes up possibly a little to high... and then we feel like we have crashed lower than possible when we finally realise it hasn't worked.
I am glad that you visit with us every day, it really helps to know that there are others around who understand what we are going through. I hope that one day there will be a way to make us all feel so much better than we do now, but in the mean time I believe it is important that we tell as many others about our story as we can, because we don't want others to suffer the way we do....
I try to keep myself positive by staying as active as I can...which isn't very some days... but it doesn't mean that I just don't do anything! I use that time to work on my book, write letters (snail mail) or answer my email...just like I am doing now.
I hope that you have someone who is helping, supporting and loving you Robin, because that really makes a big difference doesn't it.
I hope you let us know how you are getting on...
love & gentle hugs