Re: Millie

From: jenny low (
Wed Feb 28 00:29:25 2001

>On 27 Feb 2001, at 1:27, jenny low wrote:
> > So don't blame yourself now. She failed you not
> > you failed you. So don't hold that against yourself. You need to forgive
> > you. Sometimes it is hardest to forgive ourselves. I know it took me
> > to forgive myself.

On February 27 Kate wrote:

>And, perhaps, no one failed here. When I ask my doctor about my
>adhesions, he tells me that some people form scar tissue
>differently and in larger amounts than others. That's the way it is.
>All of my surgeries have been necessary, either to remove cancer
>or to explore an unknown mass that might be more cancer. So I
>can't blame either myself or my doctor for adhesions. It's the way
>it is.
>This gives me peace of mind . . . which is critical to living with pain.

I think maybe this was misunderstood a little. So sorry if it came out that way. I meant if the doctor failed to tell Millie what risks she had and what surgery was being performed that she failed to do what she should of done. I don't believe it is a doctors fault that Millie may be forming adhesions after the surgery. If this came across wrong, I am sorry. I am also very much for forgiveness. I really don't think Millie's doctor did anything trying to hurt her. I believe if she did the hysterectomy she must of thought it at the time to be in the best interest of Millie.

Kate wrote:

>I also think that anger and bitterness are so hurtful that it makes
>sense to forgive someone who did something wrong and move on.
>Of course, if your doctor made a serious mistake or did not let you
>know your risks and your choices, a lawsuit might protect others.
>But if it was just the luck of the draw -- why not just let yourself
>move on and heal?

I agree with Kate. I believe one of the most powerful things we could ever do is to forgive. I think Millie feels like she has been robbed and taken advantage of. I believe that there is a time for grieving for this and then a time to move on and live. I think Janet said it very well earlier when she said it was time for Millie to draw on her inner strength and decide to be a champion. What has happened is already done. It can't be changed so let the healing process begin.

Millie, we all love you here and want to support you in whatever way we can. Don't let yourself get all wrapped up in things that you don't even need to worry about though. I have had several surgeries and the only one I ever had a NG tube with was my hysterectomy. So calm down and relax and worry about what is going on with you today. The more anxious you get over the things that may not even happen the harder it is for your body to heal. Have you ever heard the saying "Let today worry about today"? Well it is true. Remember we are here for you!

Love, Jenny

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