Please remember that you are not alone... I will be having surgery in PA with Drs. Redan & Reich next month and I too am scared. All sorts of weird thoughts going on in my mind. At times I'm afraid of what they are going find and other times I am afraid they won't find anything. What if the pain goes away and my bitchy mood doesn't? What if I find out I really am depressed? What if the surgery doesn't help me? And on, and on, and on. But I will put my fears aside and SO WILL YOU... and in just a short time from now we will be encouraging our sisters to take the same steps cause everything turned out fine and we are finally LIVING LIFE again instead of just surving one day at a time. I find that prayer helps cause God has seen me through worse than what I am facing now. And I have a theme song (I stole the idea from the Ally McBeal TV show). Whenever my thoughts are getting me down I sing this song to myself. It make me smile and chases all the "nasties" away. Good Luck to you!
At Mon, 22 Jan 2001, Pascale Vlaun wrote:
>
>Hello,
>
>I have been busy the whole of last week to get my medical reports ready
>and I send an informative e-mail to Dr Korell in Germany, I am still
>waiting for his reply.
>I got everything in order with the insurance company, thank God for
>that, because I would not have been able to pay for this myself.
>But the weird thing is, now that I got a little hope for a better
>future, I am scared !
>Scared to go, scared for my future and scared for another surgery;all
>past surgeries ended up in complications and more surgeries.
>My GYN in StMaarten and in Holland both think that a laparoscopy is not
>possible by me because of the massive adhesions on the abdominal wall.
>I am actually thinking of backing out and just learn to live with the
>pain.
>And that pain is getting more severe every day, my painmedication is so
>high right now (with still little relief )that I am walking around the
>whole day as if I am high on drugs.
>I know I would not be able to life like this much longer, but I am so
>scared of what will happen.
>And nobody around me seems to understand that !
>Everybody tells me to go for it and to have faith, and I just don't know
>anymore.
>
>I just needed to get this out !
>
>With all my love and friendship,
>Pascale Vlaun
>St Maarten
-- Dee