Re: Depression & pain

From: Robin (
Mon Mar 13 17:52:07 2000

>Mary, I am luck that both of my parents are still alive and in good health, my dad will be 65 in May & in Jan. my mom turned 62. They have been married 46 years. But I lost my grandmother & grandfather almost 2 years ago. My grandmother died on March 24, & my grandfather died on April 2. They were burried one week of each other. I was very close to them. I had talked to my grandma the day before she died (of a stroke) & spend the last week of my grandpas life with him (a valve tore loose around his heart) They lived 1,000 miles away & I called them 3-4 times a week. I also spend a week with them a month before they died. Those are precious memories! I know about the feeling when a special day comes. I also watched my father in law battle colon cancer for 2 years. All the treatments, making him ill, weight loss, later the feeding tube, the demensia. & finally, no feeding tube. The day my father in law died, my husband spent most of the day there & we visited (my 2 kids & I) a short while. My 3 year old son was the last of the grandkids to see him that day. around 5, we were getting ready to go back over their. My son told his dad "Hi Grandpa, are you feeling better now?" We thought it was kinda weird, but he was always making up stories (something he learned from his Grandpa)so he went along with it & said he was ok, then my son said "Ok, bye Grandpa" Well we got over to the house about 15 minuets later just to find out that Grandpa had died.. 15 minutes before. Telling that story...almost 13 years later it still gives me goose bumps. We never forget loosing someone we love sooo much.
Sorry I went on so long, just wanted to share. Robin >Toni,
>I am fairly new to this board and am finding it to be very helpfull. I
>have read several of your posts and I feel for you. I 2 know about
>loosing family members and whats it is like to watch them go down
>hill.My mother took sick when I was 5 ( brain anerisim) and laid in a
>coma blind, deaf, paralysed, and mute. She stayed this way for 14
>years. I have some sad memories and some happy ones. I can remember
>the day my Father came home and explained to us mom was never coming
>home. I can even tell what clothes I was wearing and also my sisters.
>My dads Mom helped raise us kids and she passed away when I wasnt ready
>to let go. I have terrible times around the dates of thier deaths and
>thier B_Days. What I have found to help cope with this is I sit back
>and pray. I realize that my Loss is Gods gain. They are both up in
>heaven and I strongly believe that they are watching over me and my
>family. I try to remember the good times that we shared and thier warm
>hugs. The pain of loosing them and watching thier bodys go through so
>much and in my Grandmothers case so fast and unexpected is still with me
>and will always remain but I try real hard just to stay focused on what
>we shared. Remember even though she is gone her love for you is till
>there. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will say a special
>prayer for you and your father in law.


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