Need to vent........

From: Kristie (
Mon May 10 22:49:41 2004

This is the first time that I have left a message on here. I have been reading the posts and the quilt and leave my computer crying. Crying for all of us, the people that are contineously in pain and won't be heard by the people that they were taught to "trust". I've been sitting here in my little apartment having a pity party for myself. I'm so tired of this crap happening to me and it's not just the disease(s) but it's just life in general. It's hard to keep my head held high when it hurts just to stand.

First off, I have been diagnosed with all this crap (Adhesions disease, Chronic Cysts, Uterine Septum, fibroids and quite possibily Endo. I will not let them open me to check for it but I have all the symptoms) It all starting when they operated for an ovarian cyst in 98 when I was 20. It just kinda snowballed from there. I've had two other surgeries since then and I consider myself lucky because I know that most of y'all had more surgeries than that. Now that I'm in pain almost constantly, I can not exercise, I can not stand for very long, I just can't do all the things that I normal person my age should do.

I'm tired of doctors looking at me and shrugging their shoulders. When I even offer adhesions being the cause they just roll their eyes and say that adhesions don't do that. Bullcorn! I didn't have all these problems until adhesions got into the equation. I am not crazy and I am not a hypocondriac! Do they think that I want to spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on meds, surgeries and treatment? Do they really think that I like calling into work because I'm in so much pain that I can't out of bed? Do they think that I don't want to do all the fun things that my friends are doing? And do they really think that I'm making up the fact that I wet myself without even knowing it?

Today kinda brought me over the edge. I had to see an Urologist because for the past two months about once or twice a week, I wet myself. Not so much that it's running down my leg or anything but enough to make my pants wet. It's not when I sneeze or anything but when I'm doing anything from working to sitting in front of the TV. I don't know it until I'm wet. She did a very painful manual pelvic exam and discovered that my muscles "weren't happy" that I should go and see a physical therapist. She also said something about my pelvic floor collapsing. Also that my bowels are messed up. Again, I offered up the adhesions and she said, "They have nothing to do with it." Yeah, I've heard that before until they opened me up to find that adhesions had strangled my colon. I really don't know what to do, the pain is getting worse. My days are getting harder and harder to get through and I'm sick and tired of doctors not even listening to me!

After all these months of reading what y'all had to say, I've decided to step up and ask for y'all's advice and support. My only support that I've ever known, my mother, passed away a month ago this Mother's Day. Now I'm more depressed than ever and I feel hopeless. I'm tired of shelling out my time and money to doctors that just write me a script and tell me to deal with it or they just tell me that I don't have a problem.

Please God can't someone help me?

Kristie S.

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