I really needed to read these words today. I was just told about a month ago that there is no hope for me. I thought that I could always have a surgery to clean out the adhesions. Little did I know that my surgery in August was considered my last. I was recommended to a chronic pain center which I am now being treated. I've always been a sickly person, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be at this stage in my life. I have started becoming worse. What used to be occassionaly pain from day to day has now become constant, tormenting pain that torchers me 24/7. Finally yesterday I broke. I felt all alone and like I wished that I would just die, then I started reading about all of the women on this site who are going thru the same thing. It lifted my spirits to know that I am not alone and have friends that I can talk to about this stuff. My fiance is helping me find out how to get into the clinical trials in Utah. He even said that if we can't get into those or any others in the states that we would be on our way to Germany. I feel like not only you guys are heaven sent, but that my fiance is too. My last marriage broke up largly due to financial strain from me being sick all the time and in pain so much. I am so thankful for your kind words in this card that you sent and that I could read it today just when I needed it. I am so scared and I don't want to live the rest of my life in pain. I've considered quitting, if you know what I mean. But today feels different. I'm going to keep trying!
I love each and every one of you. I have felt a deep bond in your letters to each other and to myself. I finally feel like I belong...not just a freak alone suffering anymore.
Friendship,
Tonya (Valpey) Fleming
>From: "Dr. Lyn" <dr_linda@pacbell.net>
>Reply-To: adhesions@adhesions.org
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
><adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
>Subject: When Life Gets So Hard!
>Date: Sat, 11 Jan 2003 14:57:33 -0600
>
>When Life Gets So Hard
>
>I wanted to find some words on a card.
>That would help to get thru it when life gets so hard.
>It seems you can't bear it - perhaps can't go on -
>When deep in the heart there's no trace of a song.
>
>Some words that would comfort -
>when late in the night the trials return and -
>you're too tired to fight.
>Or the tears flow so often it seems you'll run dry.
>And life gets so tough that you just want to die -
>Or at least go and hide -
>where you're safe from all pain.
>Someplace you can rest 'til you find joy again.
>
>What are the words you so need to hear -
>That will help and will heal and remove all the fear -
>That builds up inside 'til you think you'll explode -
>What are the words that will lighten the load?
>
>If only I knew the right words to say.
>To encourage and Bless you or comfort some way.
>I know not the words but this I can do.
>I shall offer up Prayers to the Father for you.
>© 2002 Quick Inspirations, All Rights Reserved
>
>Dr. Lyn
>Los Angeles