First I am going to yell at ya! You don't need to apologize for getting stuff off your chest. That is what we are here for. Remember that.
I am so sorry to hear about all of this. I wish you daughter could understand that all of this stress actually makes all of your problems worse. Have you tried to tell her that when she gets all worked up like that and you hear it, it makes you worry about her and your grandkids, and when you are so worried that your pain is twice as bad? Maybe if you put it to her that way, she may understand a little better. I do the same thing to my mom, not on purpose to make her feel bad, but she is pretty mych my best friend too. When she hears "enough" she tells me we have to change the subject( cause she has chronic back pain) if we don't change it then she gets stressed and her back hurts worse.
As a daughter, I see why yours pours it on you. Try and change roles. Start calling her and telling her all of your problems, before she ever gets to put her 2 cents in. After she sees what it feels like, She may change herways a bit.
Take Care and hang in there m You are in my prayers.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Love
-- Linda Garcia