Re: To Helen D

From: Helen Dynda (
Mon Jul 29 22:00:52 2002

Bev has given her permission for me to post her response to Clare's message: Re: To: Helen D.

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From: Beverly J.Doucette ; To: Helen Dynda ; Sent: Monday, July 29, 02 7:01 AM

Dear Helen,

This broke my heart! If Clare had no problem with you sharing this, I would reply.

I would tell her that I too did this very same thing after a dear friend of mine told me NOT to do it....that was the Debbie, who had the 10 hour surgery! (And is still doing well today!)

We do this because it is so difficult to listen to strangers versus our medical care provider, whom we are conditioned to trust without question!

Not only in Canada, but throughout the world this scenario is repeated time and again! I cannot count the number of ARD victims who repeat those very same words as Clare did...and of course as I did as well!

The good news is that eventually we DID learn and will not allow ourselves to to end up like Karla, which proves things can get much worse if we haven't learned to "doubt" and challenge those we place our trust in...after all, they are only humans who chose that profession, not placed there by God! LOL! LOL!

Since the inception of the IAS, I do think that those within the medical profession are now swimming in the same tank as that of lawyers -- with sharks! LOL! LOL!

In closing, I will share what picks me up when I think back on the surgeon here - whom I ALLOWED to perform three surgeries on me...(during my days of trust and ignorance)

" An ARD sufferer is a Dr.'s worst walking nightmare!" And all I can say to that is " Amen!!!" LOL! LOL! May he be swamped with 'em; and may they be wise enough to walk away after mentioning MY name!! LOL! LOL! LOL!.....Love Bev

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To Helen D ; From: clare ( ; Fri Jul 26 19:15:18 2002

Dear Helen: I am learning a lot from your posts this week, as well as from some very interesting emails from other gals lately. You are a wonderful source of information, and I want you to know I appreciate the time and effort that you put into helping us get educated and enabling us to be proactive concerning our health care.

Quite a long time ago, (October past) I posted about some concerns I had about some of the things my surgeon told me. You replied to me that I should not trust him, because he wasn't being totally honest with me. Helen, you were soooo right. Looking back, if it weren't for that reply of yours, I believe that things might have gone more horribly wrong when I did let him operate. You know, one of the last things I said to everyone in the operating room was "so no laparotomy, right?" :o)

You were right, I shouldn't have let the guy near me again. At the time, I just couldn't face the Canadian system of trying to get a second opinion, the wait involved, and I thought that perhaps I was better with the devil I knew. I feel he now resents the knowledge I have, and he insists that he had the right to cauterize the endo, do the LUNA, and lyse only the one adhesion. Before the lap, we had a chat during which I was sure I'd made it crystal clear to him that the only thing that we were looking for were adhesions and endo, and that they were only to be *excised* (especially the endo) if he felt he could do it successfully. His response was that then he'd just do a diagnostic only, and the surgery would only take 5 to 15 minutes. Well, a 2.5 hr surgery later.... Here I am, definetly no better than before the lap, often worse, more wounds that had to heal, multiple bleeding/oozing sites documented in this surgery, and all this just to know for sure I have adhesions and endo? And according to my surgeon they are not a cause of my pain, and really I should just deal with it, like other women do. It is my opinion, that in the Canadian health care system if you fall between the cracks, it can be a very lonely place to be.

I'm rambling (or ranting, I don't know). I wanted to say that at the time you replied to me I did listen, and I waited as long as I could not to have the surgery, but I should have listened better. You, and the other gals here have given me some wonderful advice, and you were all instrumental in in my decision not to let him do another laparotomy. But I read that reply of yours once more today, and I thought "stupid, stupid, stupid Clare!"

Well, I guess the good thing I've learned is no more surgery for me. No way - not going to happen until it's an emergency and my hubby flies me to whatever Dr in whatever country is the best. We are saving our money, and I pray that day will never come.

Well, after all that came off my chest, I really just wanted to thank you, and tell you that you do everyone who comes to this forum a wonderful service!

In friendship,


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