To Helen D

From: clare (
Fri Jul 26 19:15:18 2002

Dear Helen:

I am learning a lot from your posts this week, as well as from some very interesting emails from other gals lately. You are a wonderful source of information, and I want you to know I appreciate the time and effort that you put into helping us get educated and enabling us to be proactive concerning our health care.

Quite a long time ago, (October past) I posted about some concerns I had about some of the things my surgeon told me. You replied to me that I should not trust him, because he wasn't being totally honest with me. Helen, you were soooo right. Looking back, if it weren't for that reply of yours, I believe that things might have gone more horribly wrong when I did let him operate. You know, one of the last things I said to everyone in the operating room was "so no laparotomy, right?" :o)

You were right, I shouldn't have let the guy near me again. At the time, I just couldn't face the Canadian system of trying to get a second opinion, the wait involved, and I thought that perhaps I was better with the devil I knew. I feel he now resents the knowledge I have, and he insists that he had the right to cauterize the endo, do the LUNA, and lyse only the one adhesion. Before the lap, we had a chat during which I was sure I'd made it crystal clear to him that the only thing that we were looking for were adhesions and endo, and that they were only to be *excised* (especially the endo) if he felt he could do it successfully. His response was that then he'd just do a diagnostic only, and the surgery would only take 5 to 15 minutes. Well, a 2.5 hr surgery later.... Here I am, definetly no better than before the lap, often worse, more wounds that had to heal, multiple bleeding/oozing sites documented in this surgery, and all this just to know for sure I have adhesions and endo? And according to my surgeon they are not a cause of my pain, and really I should just deal with it, like other women do. It is my opinion, that in the Canadian health care system if you fall between the cracks, it can be a very lonely place to be.

I'm rambling (or ranting, I don't know). I wanted to say that at the time you replied to me I did listen, and I waited as long as I could not to have the surgery, but I should have listened better. You, and the other gals here have given me some wonderful advice, and you were all instrumental in in my decision not to let him do another laparotomy. But I read that reply of yours once more today, and I thought "stupid, stupid, stupid Clare!"

Well, I guess the good thing I've learned is no more surgery for me. No way - not going to happen until it's an emergency and my hubby flies me to whatever Dr in whatever country is the best. We are saving our money, and I pray that day will never come.

Well, after all that came off my chest, I really just wanted to thank you, and tell you that you do everyone who comes to this forum a wonderful service!

In friendship,


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