<< We don't always make our goals, because we are such different people, but we're getting better at not hurting each other. >>
That's a wonderful achievement. Truly it is!
<< He says I'm too pushy. HAH. >>
Being pushy is a good thing. It helps give us the strength to get through each day. My husband doesn't like it that I am "pushy" either, he heard our counselor mention once that I had some dominance. This from a personality profile we each had taken. Then my husband translated this into my being domineering. Huh? Hmmm....
It's the way in which our men choose to see us more than it is how we act, though, I believe. Many men say they like a strong woman but at times, because of their own insecurities or whatever, it undermines them. So they take it out on us.
Sometimes I will be deliberately as congenial and cooperative as a Stepford wife, over an extended period of time....if hubby is having a bad day, however, he uses the same old lens he has created to view me -- that I am domineering, self-absorbed and unruly.
In my behavioral science classes and through counseling, one message has rung loud and clear, and I am just beginning to understand it...no matter what, I should be myself, and be true to myself. This does not give me free license to take out things on other people, but no longer will I let their reactions dictate my behavior. Easier said than done! But I try every day to be considerate while being myself. I wrote a personal mission statement that I was pretty happy with for my Psychology of Personal and Professional Motivation class, I will have to see if I can find it and share it with you all...
<< Last night, it was time to rotate the cows and other animals to the summer pastures and I went up in the car to do it, because I always do and he was there doing it his way and didn't want any help from me, which sounds petty and is, but it made me feel extra special good-for-nothing. But I didn't yell at him, after all he was trying to help, I guess (I'm really not very nice).>>
You are nice. In fact, what little I've read from you so far, you seem like a terrific person. Still, you also are entitled to be in a bad mood on occasion. If you don't let yourself have the peaks and valley, it all gets flat and then you can go numb. Numb is no good, it does nothing to help you heal. Your brain needs those chemicals generated by healthy mood swings to function at its peak.
<<Good luck to you. >>
And to you!
Guess I'm not doing a very good job of lurking so far... {:^P
Lynda in AZ