I know that when we are in the pain that we are in, we think that it is never going to get better. I have been told that I cant have any more operations and that I will have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. I went through a spell where I thought that no one understood how I felt, I think they thought that I was being melodramatic when I said that I would be in a wheelchair within 5 years, that's if the drugs did not kill me first.
I actually ended up in a wheelchair within two years and have aged quite a bit due to the pain, stress and high doses of opiates. I had to give up my beautiful Victorian Guest House, that I loved so much. I was so close to giving up, what did the future hold for me? It was at that point that I said to myself, I wonder how many more women are out there feeling like me, hopeless and helpless in agony every day, lost our jobs, our independence, virtual prisoners in our own homes. Worst of all no one believing that adhesions cause pain. It never crossed my mind at that time that ARD affected men as well. I decided that I wasn't going to let it get the better of me. I was going to fight it and I will and If I can help some others along the way then my suffering will not have been in vain.
I don't want to go on and on with this story, I didn't mean to get carried away like this. You are the one feeling down and we shouldn't be talking about me. I have read some of your letters and I know you have helped a lot of people who have felt alone and in despair. You have lots of friends here on the board who would not be able to cope if you were not there to help them through the day. I pray that you feel better soon and have some piece of mind but please don't say goodbye.
Did you read the article that I sent in about pain, It says Patients and their families should be counselled about the rarity of addiction when opioids are prescribed for management of pain under medical supervision. I am not sure if that is you reason for not wanting to take stronger pain meds.
In Friendship Katherine Findlay United Kingdom Adhesion Society mailto:kath.findlay@adhesions.org.uk http://www.adhesions.org.uk
Subject: Well, I'm giving up and going to the hospital again
Hello everybody, I just can't take it anymore, I'm scared to death of operations because of the past, but I can't exist like this. I'm on as much pain medication as my body will handle and its not enough, so its either Pennslyvania or Germany. I know it will be awhile before I can get in and the Inn is short on help and long on work. But if you can't give up, and no body wants you to kill yourself, and you're in agony and getting worse, what do you do? Goodby, Sally