>----- Original Message -----
From: "jenny low" <email@example.com> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <firstname.lastname@example.org> Sent: Wednesday, February 28, 2001 2:31 AM Subject: Re: Millie
> >On 27 Feb 2001, at 1:27, jenny low wrote:
> > > So don't blame yourself now. She failed you not
> > > you failed you. So don't hold that against yourself. You need to
forgive > > > you. Sometimes it is hardest to forgive ourselves. I know it took me
> > > to forgive myself.
> On February 27 Kate wrote:
> >And, perhaps, no one failed here. When I ask my doctor about my
> >adhesions, he tells me that some people form scar tissue
> >differently and in larger amounts than others. That's the way it is.
> >All of my surgeries have been necessary, either to remove cancer
> >or to explore an unknown mass that might be more cancer. So I
> >can't blame either myself or my doctor for adhesions. It's the way
> >it is.
> >This gives me peace of mind . . . which is critical to living with pain.
> I think maybe this was misunderstood a little. So sorry if it came out
that > way. I meant if the doctor failed to tell Millie what risks she had and
what > surgery was being performed that she failed to do what she should of done.
I > don't believe it is a doctors fault that Millie may be forming adhesions
> after the surgery. If this came across wrong, I am sorry. I am also very
> much for forgiveness. I really don't think Millie's doctor did anything
> trying to hurt her. I believe if she did the hysterectomy she must of
> thought it at the time to be in the best interest of Millie.
> Kate wrote:
> >I also think that anger and bitterness are so hurtful that it makes
> >sense to forgive someone who did something wrong and move on.
> >Of course, if your doctor made a serious mistake or did not let you
> >know your risks and your choices, a lawsuit might protect others.
> >But if it was just the luck of the draw -- why not just let yourself
> >move on and heal?
> I agree with Kate. I believe one of the most powerful things we could ever
> do is to forgive. I think Millie feels like she has been robbed and taken
> advantage of. I believe that there is a time for grieving for this and
then > a time to move on and live. I think Janet said it very well earlier when
she > said it was time for Millie to draw on her inner strength and decide to be
a > champion. What has happened is already done. It can't be changed so let
the > healing process begin.
> Millie, we all love you here and want to support you in whatever way we
can. > Don't let yourself get all wrapped up in things that you don't even need
to > worry about though. I have had several surgeries and the only one I ever
had > a NG tube with was my hysterectomy. So calm down and relax and worry about
> what is going on with you today. The more anxious you get over the things
> that may not even happen the harder it is for your body to heal. Have you
> ever heard the saying "Let today worry about today"? Well it is true.
> Remember we are here for you!