the days are very hard on me too! I tried to down a whole bottle of
pills about 2 weeks ago. the had a crisis team at my house that i
called in desperation its called empact. I was on a suicide watch for 3
days.
I know exactly how you feel, its very frustrating. And don't think i
still don't think about it boy i do somedays. This weekend was awful we
were suppose to go to the zoo. But i took some good old milk of
magnesia which sent to the toilet with the runs good for me but needed
the toilet all day. If i don't take it i don't go. I feel like my
daughter does'nt have a mom gosh i feel like i ruin everyones fun. Like
i asked for this it really does suck. I get so depressed and so angry
that this is happening to me. Last wens. when i came home from the ER
i wanted to take a bottle of sleeping pills, I figured that if i did it
just right i'd end up in the ER have my stomach pumped and then they
would ask me why i took the pills! Ok i it would probley all go wrong
and i'd end up dead and my husband would have to explain to my 3 yr old
why mommy killed herself! Then i came to the conclusion that i don't
give up this easy i'm a fighter! I'm still going how i don't know!
Sometimes i pray that i won't wake up but i do so God wants me to keep
going. I would love to find some counsling that i can afford.So see
your not the only one with those feelings they are very hard to fight
sometimes but we have to fight them together and for everyone around us
that loves us. Think how they would feel if we just stopped fighting. I
know its hard but hang in there please i love you!