Re: Millie I too have tried that bottle of pills;please read!

From: Millie (
Mon Feb 26 19:15:22 2001

Colette, I am dying tonight from sneezing my fool head off. It must be something in this room. I bought bottle of milk of mag, tonight. I know I'm being too hard on myself since my mom died, and since I was subjected to the TAH. And I have to take a small part of the blame for that. My dad would be lost without me. He's 88, and I'm all he has left. We better not o.d. on pills, because that means the n.g. tube. Remember I'm afraid of that!!! Yes, I'm serious. So I'm gonna keepplugging along- praying for the best. God knows all of us deserve it! Love, Millie ..

>----- Original Message -----
From: "Colette " <> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <> Sent: Monday, February 26, 2001 5:41 PM Subject: Millie I too have tried that bottle of pills;please read!

> the days are very hard on me too! I tried to down a whole bottle of
> pills about 2 weeks ago. the had a crisis team at my house that i
> called in desperation its called empact. I was on a suicide watch for 3
> days.
> I know exactly how you feel, its very frustrating. And don't think i
> still don't think about it boy i do somedays. This weekend was awful we
> were suppose to go to the zoo. But i took some good old milk of
> magnesia which sent to the toilet with the runs good for me but needed
> the toilet all day. If i don't take it i don't go. I feel like my
> daughter does'nt have a mom gosh i feel like i ruin everyones fun. Like
> i asked for this it really does suck. I get so depressed and so angry
> that this is happening to me. Last wens. when i came home from the ER
> i wanted to take a bottle of sleeping pills, I figured that if i did it
> just right i'd end up in the ER have my stomach pumped and then they
> would ask me why i took the pills! Ok i it would probley all go wrong
> and i'd end up dead and my husband would have to explain to my 3 yr old
> why mommy killed herself! Then i came to the conclusion that i don't
> give up this easy i'm a fighter! I'm still going how i don't know!
> Sometimes i pray that i won't wake up but i do so God wants me to keep
> going. I would love to find some counsling that i can afford.So see
> your not the only one with those feelings they are very hard to fight
> sometimes but we have to fight them together and for everyone around us
> that loves us. Think how they would feel if we just stopped fighting. I
> know its hard but hang in there please i love you!

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