Im a mess

From: Jaynie Jarvis (
Tue Apr 11 01:28:28 2000

I haven't been around in about 2 months. My dad got sick and died about 3 weeks ago. Now I have no parents. I am sure I am not alone. So that has thrown me wako !!! Of course increased pain with he extra stress.I have done every alternative treatment I can think of and so far no relief. I was going to a great P.T. but even she said she could do no more for me that it was the adhesions. She did teach me how to lesson my pain by relaxing my pelvic muscle. But that is just temporary. It helps with the constipation and not being able to empty my bladder completly. Even my new alternative care person thinks I should have an operation then she thinks she can help to prevent further ones. I also have endo.I am at the end of my rope have had unhealthy thoughts. I'm sure I am not alone there either. I had such great hopes for this last treatment. So what to do ? I see there is quite a few of the gals going under the knife. Maybe we are having our spring cleaning ! I live in Seattle area and a Dr. Barbara Levy is in Federal Way not far from here and she is in the same surgical group as Dr Reich. And isn't Reich suppose to be the best laporscopic surgeon in the world? If that is true and we have angel flights maybe I should just go to him. Or is she just as good. Maybe Helen can help me out with this one please. I liked Levy enough , have only seen her 2 times I think, She is hung up on sexual abuse and asumes I have been abused. I see her May 1st. Before this one I am going to become a believe that ist will work and eat good and all that so I have a better chance of healing faster I hope. Yesterday I was going to the physc ward but I was afraid they would take my pain meds away and let me hurt. I have wanted to just run away because My husband would be better off withot me. All I do is cry or sleep or be mean. Of course he assures me he couldn't live without me.I wish I could go away by myself for a week or something, but I can't because then with so much grief and pain and saddness I could get all confussed and do something I would never do with a sound mind and body. I did get away kinda. I took a zanax and slept for 21 hours. I could hardly get out of bed my joints and muscles were very stiff. But what a nice escape. Alot of bull going on over my parents possessions. I just can't handle it. I need someone to do it for me and told them to just write me a check when the money comes. I have my dads pocket knife let them fight over the rest I guess, because I can't handle it. They forget my life is full of pain and stress. They forget I am even sick. Sorry to get of our subject. But Here's to our SPRING CLEANING !!!! LOVE JAYNIE

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