injury, I get to
>feel guilty for not being in control. Pain can make you feel so
>isolated from the world. I wish one of you guys lived nearby so when
>the loneliness takes over you can just pick up the phone and call for
>help. Not that my friends and family aren't supportive, but they just
>can't understand...not the pain or the emotional wreckage it can cause.
>In the mean time, I thank God that this forum is here. Thanks for
>listening....Ginny
Hi Ginny: I can certainly relate to what you are saying. Sometimes I wonder if keeping things so well under control isn't so good. I know I do it very well and then I wonder why others don't seem to understand. Just the other day my husband said to me (about the diagnosis of arthritis of the spine) "well, my grip isn't what it used to be. I guess I got a little of that myself. At least there's the celebrex." He was trying to encourage me. I thought, this guy just doesn't get it. Why should he? I do everything I have to do without complaining outwardly. He doesn't have a clue what I'm thinking and how I'm suffering inside. The look on my pcp's face was priceless when I finally told him that this problem was ruining my life. I guess I haven't communicated too well to him either. My mother doesn't even know. I don't need a psychologist to tell me why I do this. I know-I don't want people to feel sorry for me. But how can I expect them to be understanding when they don't even know I have a problem or the extent of my problem. This is why I suggested to someone that refusing narcotic pain meds when offered might work against you by making the problem seem less than it really is. The same thing goes for keeping a normal work schedule. I really don't know how you've managed to do that from some of the incidents you've described that has happened to you. I don't think taking some sick leave until you get your situation under control would be unreasonable. I don't know what you are taking for depression but the doses of tricyclics (elavil etc) for chronic pain are not high enough to treat depression. Besides, I don't believe anti-depressants work ( even at doses for depression) if you are not clinically depressed. In my opinion being down from a loss (in this case your health) is a normal reaction. I don't know if this helps any, just wanted you to know that I can really identify with what you posted. I even beat myself up for having something that can't even be diagnosed properly!
Chris S.