Can't sleep and feel like I am losing my mind

From: Lynda (
Mon May 5 12:33:46 2008

The pain from adhesions has continued to grow daily for the past few weeks. Heating pads, soaking in the tub and over the counter medications seem to have no affect any longer. The see-saw of constipation/diarhea has made me afraid to eat. I am overweight, and have had several abdominal surgeries over the past fourteen years, including many for adhesion removal. I also have pain in the area where epidurals were given during child birth, and the groin area where heart catherizations were inserted. The pain centers in my lower right groin area and radiates around my lower abdomen and back---and down both legs. Tonight (it is actually almost 4AM) I cannot sleep because not only am I in extreme pain, but suddenly both my legs and especially my feet are freezing cold. Although they try to be sympathetic, I know family and friends are skeptical that something they cannot see can cause such severe pain. I feel myself struggling to perform normal daily activities and often push myself past my pain limitations to do things I know have to be done. For instance, although I was suffering terribly this morning, I forced myself to go grocery shopping, and accompany my cousin to the pet store, and hardware store--putting my self on my feet for several hours with no relief. Then, the simple act of putting away the groceries, and cooking dinner was the straw that broke the camels' back so to say. I know I am overweight, and I know many doctors will say I need to lose this weight in order to feel healthier--and the act of limiting my food intake is something I am working very seriously on. However, I am limited on the exercise I can do to accompany the diets. Some may suggest bariatric surgery, but I have already been told this is not a consideration by a general surgeon because of the severity of my adhesions. One of my surgeries--many years ago was to remove my final ovary on the right side. At that time I still had my appendix, and the physician actually had a nurse come out and ask my husband after over and hour if he was sure I never had my appendix removed because he was having difficulty locating it. He did finally, and a surgery that was supposed to be no more then an hour took almost six, and included extensive manipulation of my bowels to remove adhesions, and the removal of a Meckel's diverticulum. My weight complicates recovery (I am 5'1"and weigh 220lbs) and did result in several hernias which also needed repair. I have been told I have a lypoma in my abdomen, and arthritis of the spine. Someone from this board also suggested I contact a neurologist about the possibility of Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome. Unfortunately, we recently moved last June, and I was only at my job for six months when I needed my gallbladder removed. I lost my job because I did not have enough time in to qualify for FMLA---losing my job resulted in loss of medical insurance, and since my husband is disabled, I cannot rely on him to supply me with any. I cannot just go to a surgeon, neurologist or physician. My choice is probably an emergency room, who may help me qualify for charity care to pay their bill. But, in an ER, most likely treatment will be pain meds and being sent home. This will not resolve the issues, and I will be right back where I started when the meds where off, and probably constipated from the narcotics. I am at a complete loss, and although I would never contemplate suicide, death seems like the only possible relief of the pain. I am only 43, and have three sons, 25, 19, and 17, and a 5 yr old grandaughter and I need to be active. My 82 year old grandmother is more productive then I am, and this is extremely distressing. I am sorry to unload on all of you, I am just going absolutely crazy with the pain, and I know in my heart that only someone suffering from adhesion pain themselves, can understand where I am coming from. Oh, please, anyone that may know some sort of homeopathic treatment, massage anything that may help, I am more then open to suggestion. Thank you.

Thank you,
Lynda  (43yr old female)
New Jersey

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