At Thu, 17 Oct 2002, Dawn wrote:
>
>I was doing so well there for a few weeks. Had come way down on my meds
>as I really don't have a doc till I see a new one on Nov 4th.
>I have not had to wear a diaper and actually vaccumed and went to
>laundomat.
>Out of the clear blue I was visiting a friend with a guest I had from
>out of town and I collapsed in the driveway. The worst pain I had
>encountered yet. Did not black out. My seven yr old daughter was
>witness to this.
>They begged me to go to hospital but I could not go thru another er
>trip.
>Found that to be an exercise in futility.
>I had them call my mother who does not really support me in my illness
>but she's packing optifast and they ask her to come right away. She has
>fybromyalgia. I took the optifast and was up in a few minutes.
>My daughter is such a good girl but she internalizes alot. I ask her
>how she feels about so many things but she gives the standard "fine"
>answer.
>I have had her in counseling for about 6 mos now. She has other issues,
>mainly thet she has never lived with her father. They were allowed to
>see each other through court ordered visitation center. He was
>suspected of being drunk during some visits but last Christmas he was
>totally $%*#faced and had to be taken away by the police. It was done
>as discretly as possible but for a 7 yr old she's no fool.
>She knows to watch out for mommy's tum. She will always get me a drink
>and sometimes make us scrambled eggs for dinner. She will make my bed
>as her way of cherring me up. I tell her I am going to be better soon.
>I can't tell her when though.
>Her teacher called yesterday to my horror. She said don't be alarmed,
>my daughter is a fab student (2nd grade). Always brings home 100's. we
>read alot and can't wait for the next Harry potter book. we work on her
>homework together everynight. I try to keep things as normal as
>possible. I thought I did an excellent job of sucking it up in front of
>her.
>The teacher was wondering how soon we were going to Germany. My
>daughter has been talking to her classmates about this imminant trip.
>I have been discussing and raising funds to get there. Darn she has big
>ears (lesson learned).
>I tried to explain the situation to the teacher. She seems like a great
>lady.
>I did not attend the open house to meet her.
>Well next the school psychologist called and asked if she could help. I
>said yes, anything to help her understand her mom's not gonna die or
>anything.
>Oh God, why can't you spare my baby from this mennace. She is going to
>contact her other counselor and work with her to help.
>My family has chosen to not accept my adhesion story. Where did I ever
>get a crazy notion like that. I show them my last operative report that
>said I have extensive abdominal adhesions. They prefer to think this
>doc is making this up for some error she made during surgery. Maybe
>there is a needle or sponge left in there. They tell me I am not a
>doctor and am a fool to self diagnose my condition. Of course they, not
>being doctors themselves insist I have explortory surgery to find the
>true cause of my "troubles". I have had 5 different surgical opinions
>and none of them will touch me(thank god) No way to exploritory
>surgery.Next time I am opened up it will be to have adhesions lysed,
>bowel resected and endo excised. They could really help us alot.Just a
>simple visit.
>My brothers could give her the man exposure she needs. They could help
>by taking me to the darn grocery store but...They all live but 5 minutes
>away.
>They all love my daughter but am convinced I am a loon and suddenly gone
>lazy.
>Oh god, my poor baby.
>What do you tell your young children????