>----- Original Message -----
From: rowdyladyrose@aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 6:55 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
Subject: When Friends Turn Away: We've all had the feeling of loss when people turn away.
I have just experienced this loss...I had only thought I was being paranoid, but my brother-in-law inadvertently let the cat out of the bag this last weekend.
For some time now, one set of our friends (a couple) have had all sorts of excuses for not spending time with us...working on house, sick pets, family gatherings, etc. For the most part they have been believable. A couple of times we were suspicious, like when we asked to use another friend's lake house only to learn that that couple had already asked to use it at that time...normally we all 4 go together and ask as a group for the time, planning menus and outings, etc. Well, we ended up going with them...but I now think it is only because we found out they were going and our other friend mentioned it to them. We used to be so close that you never saw one couple without the other.
This last weekend, we were told that they would be busy...he was going to be working on the house, she was going to be running around with her sister. Instead, they had plans to spend the afternoon with my brother-in-law and cook out. Now we don't know what to do or say...I've gotten the impression before that neither one of them believe that my pain or conditions are real. She always makes a point about one of her other friends continuing to work after a car wreck left her partially disabled. (Sheila's conditions are physically apparent)
My husband just wants to cut them off...he's really angry, especially since I said it was probably because of me. I've been tempted to write them a letter, asking that if it is me and my problems putting them off, not to punish my husband because of me. My husband suffers enough having to see me in pain and not be able to do anything about it.
Thanks for letting me blubber on.
kcmo rose