Tish,
This is where I start to become overprotective and give out advice that people probably don't need, but I'm going to do it anyway. Please, please make sure that your daughter does not use any blankets in the new baby's crib. If she feels that she needs to use one she should use the lightest she can find and tuck it under the baby's arms and wrap it around the foot of the bed...as you would an adult bed. There should be nothing in the crib, other than the baby.
I say this because a little more than a year ago we lost my first grandson, Brayden. ( http://www.geocities.com/princessd82000/BraydensHaven ) His actual diagnosis was SIDS, but he had pulled his baby blanket (one of those very heavy pile fleece ones that have baby designs on them...but are the same thickness as the adult ones that show sporting teams or wolves,eagles, etc) over his face. It is our belief that he actually suffocated. We tested the blanket in a very unscientific manner...used a blow dryer...and no air came through even on high.
I tell you this, not because I am psycho...well maybe a little bit...but because my daughter, nor I was never told that blankets should not be used. I don't want to see this happen to any other child or have any other parent experience this loss if they can avoid it.
I had three grandchildren. The oldest, Bryttnee, is now 5 and quite different from her little sister. She's the serious one...but also the sweetheart, the one who will sit on your lap for hours. This past year was very tough on her. She not only lost her brother, but she lost her grandfather whom she was very close to and her kitty (we had gotten her a persian kitty to help her deal with the loss of her brother). The kitty died of a heart attack...something that I guess is quite common in Persians. She has taken all of this very hard and seems to focus on death quite a bit. We are working on making her a child again....not always very easy.
Next comes, Brietta or Breezy. She's the three year-old. Not only does she have her free-spirit, and her special way of looking at everything, but she's also the hellion. She has no fear. She isn't afraid to climb to the highest point in our house....at this point that would be the top of the refrigerator (she opens the oven door, climbs up on top of the cupboards, opens a cupboard door and gets on top of the fridge) and should she fall and hurt herself, you will find her doing it again 5 minutes later. There are NO punishments that work with her. You could spank her butt 50 times and she would do it again. We (my daughter and I) are struggling with finding some method of keeping her in check...and not abusing her. Yet, at the same time she is the wind beneath us all.
Then came Brayden. My daughter will tell you that this is the first child that she was "ready" for. She was a very young mother with the first two. Eighteen with Bryttnee and twenty with Breezy. She had finally settled down her life (not that she wasn't a good mother with the girls) and anxiously prepared for the birth of her son. Right away we knew that he was going to be Mommy's boy. I had a difficult time with him. (With my pain intensifying, I had a harder and harder time with each child. After Bryttnee, I wasn't able to babysit the others in their infant stages. It was too much for me...not to say I loved them any less...just that I knew that I couldn't handle the stress.) He would cry and cry for his mother. As soon as she would take him, his crying would stop. Yet, all in all, he was a very happy child. We believe that he was always destined to be with us a short time. We believe that he accomplished, in his four months, what most people take an entire lifetime to accomplish. He reunited my family that had been quite fractured. His death made that bond even tighter.
Well, that's the accounting for my family. I do know what you are saying about them bringing a certain amount of pain relief. It is true. They bring you so much love, so much excitement, so much distraction that you forget about your pain......for a while.
Love,
Karla
Tish <CookieTish@aol.com> wrote: Karla,
My Grandaughter is also 3 yrs old, and i think she is the greatest gift
i have ever been given...now were expecting #2..and we are sure excited
with that My Hubby and i raised 3 boys, (i dont know how we survived
that ha) so of course we will take all the girls we can get..My Hubby
always tells our Grandaughter that the new baby is a girl, (we dont know
that yet) and that we dont need any more hairy legged boys, so Erica
tells everyone that she is going to get a new sister,and she cant be a
hairy legged boy! Sometimes the joy that she brings to our lives even
brings about a certain amount of pain relief..
And for that i am very very Thankful.
Hoping you are at least comfy today.
Love And Hugs
Tish.