I knew it was coming back on by the extra stabs and tugs I was having yesterday afternoon, the pain in my back and under my right rib cage and the skinny little b.m. I had this morning. I had almost a week of tolerable pain - I felt so free and blessed!! Now here it's back like a worn out old shoe that you were sure you'd thrown out but just keeps turning up again - that nasty experience that our wonderful Drs call breakthrough pain, which can drive you to distraction and wear you down towards depression....
I wish I had some answers to all of my questions. I wish I could somehow help my friends on this forum. What mechanism is it that allows the pain to go from tolerable, to barely tolerable, to the point where I feel like I'm falling off a cliff into a great big vat of molten pain? Why does it get to the point that it hurts to move even a little? Why does it even hurt sometimes to breathe? Why, after a real bad attack of pain, am I so worn out from it all that I can only put my head down and pray for strength? If only I could figure this pain thing out, then I could help us....
But I'm no rocket scientist, and I no matter how hard I try I probably won't be able to do a whole lot for my fellow adhesion sufferers. In the meantime I'll pray for you, and hope that someone hears. I'll pray that you have moments and hours and days of tolerable pain, and I'll HOPE that you have painFREE moments, hours and days. I'll pray that each of us finds the strength to fight this battle, and I'll pray that when we are struggling with this devil pain that we can support each other and help each other through the bad times.
I don't think anyone should not post because they are suffering. That's when you need a shoulder, a prayer or a cyber hug. To me, that is one of the most important purposes of this site.
The only thing that helps me when I'm at the point where I'm sure I just can't take any more at all, is I try to remind myself that it might just get back to being tolerable once again, like it was before. Easy for me to say today when I'm just starting back into it after an easy week - but not so easy when I realize I'm probably heading back into a hell that often lasts weeks and sometimes months....
Yet we must fight this - there must be something somewhere that will either cure adhesions or help us overcome the dastardly pain that accompainies them. In the meantime we'll keep posting to this forum, sometimes looking for help and answers, and sometimes just looking to help someone else. After all, isn't that what friends are for?
Love to all,
-- Clare