Hi everyone, can I borrow a shoulder today? I'm just so upset today. "( My
ob/gyn (thank God for him) told me to tell my PCP that I need to see a
surgeon to give me some answers on my belly button excruciating pain as well
as my abdomen pain (mostly left lower sided) and of course the usual lower
back pain. Ok, so I went to see this so called surgeon today. I brought
with me pictures of my last surgery as well as my operative notes. As he
came into the patient room to see me, he of course shook my hand and
introduced himself. He said, how can I help you. As I handed him the
pictures to view and the notes of my last surgery he put them down on the
counter without peeking at them. I went on to tell him my history on my
health - the pain I'm in - how many surgeries yada, yada, yada. (my PCP was
supposed to send him a letter explaining that, but the surgeon I saw today
didn't have time to read them prior to my visit) Once I was finished he said
to me, "I'm not touching you with a ten foot pole" and "you are not going to
die on my operating table." After the shock of his words wore off, I told
him that I wasn't looking for surgery just hopes of answers, some answers -
anything that he knows of adhesions that would help me - others. He said, "I
don't believe that adhesions cause pain, it's the patient with adhesions that
has it in their head that they do cause pain." OK - there I am trying to
stop shaking and then all of a sudden, the tears came down my face - I felt
myself shaking uncontrollably. At this point he gave me a slip to go for
physical therapy. I took the slip (mind you I was so peeved at this point)
and told him to shove it up his ass. (sorry for those with sensitive eyes)
I went on to tell him how WRONG he was with his "adhesions do not cause
pain." I said that I would send him the IAS Newsletter as well as printed
out material so that he could educate himself about adhesions and make him a
better practicing doctor. There were more words in the office, this email is
long enough - but I think all of you have had this same visit once or twice
already. As I left, I felt as if I was medically raped. Awful - just awful.
I sat in my car trying to grab a grip before I started to drive and wondered
what the hell is my next step. What do I do? Who do I call? Who the hell
will help me? I can't afford a trip to Germany. Isn't there one single
doctor in my neighborhood able to help me? It's bad enough that my PCP
doesn't want me on my pain medication anymore. What is going to happen when
those are taken away from me? I feel so lost with my health issues that I'm
scared. Thank God for all of you to be here for me. To help and support me
- especially understand me and pull me up in the time that I've hit rock
bottom. That is it! I just wrote how I feel, I feel as if I've hit the
bottom and I don't know how to climb back up again.
Thanks for letting me vent, thank you for your shoulder.
Love and hugs to all,
~Confused, scared, Chrissie xo's