Dear Jean, I've come into this conversation late and don't really know what's going on, but I did get your message loud and clear that you are being hurt by both doctors and lawyers. Is there any legal aide society where you live? What again is wrong with the small claims court idea? I know someone who got $5,000 back that was owed them.
I also hear you coming across the computer as suffering mentally and physically. I so wish I were there to help you. You've been such a good friend here on the board, I hate to think of you being so unhappy. I know you have reason to be. I also know its winter and in a few months the days will have more light and spring will be here. Your life is not over. There is so much of your body that does work- your mind, your fingers, your heart, your mouth. These are valuable things.
Sometimes I feel the same way. I know its worse for you, but I'm having trouble getting out of bed, and I mean physically not mentally, my body can't pull itself up without me rolling over and grabbing onto something solid and pulling with my one leg over the other. But we do have a life. Don't give up. My husband enrolled us both in the Health Club and last night he took me to the pool and I splashed around trying to move everything. It was great. Do you have a gym nearby or a pool or a rec center or Heaven Forbid a Senior Center. Maybe you need to get involed in an organization that will physically help you get places and participate in real activities like being in the pool. It felt so great. There must be someone or some group that can help you. We can give you only so much over the internet. We'll give you all we have, but you need more, you need physical contact and love and something that "turns you on" in the sense that it excites you or interests you, etc, I hope I'm not preaching again. If so, I apologize, but please don't give up. Life is all we have. Prayers, hugs, and love, Sally