To Collette from Sally

From: Sally Grigg (lostcst@mcn.org)
Mon Aug 13 13:39:10 2001


Dear Colette, Please do not keep thinking of killing yourself. Your children nor your husband nor the world would NOT be better without you. Having just gone through a terrible experience trying to save a young ladies' life, I can tell you that the fantasy is nothing like the reality. And I know it's hard, I used to think about it all the time, but then I got scared and realized I might inadvertently get what I asked for. God does that sometimes. I wondered where you were, you hadn't written. Sometimes when I get depressed, I don't write either, but its better to vent and let us know. We can handle it. We've been there, honey. Twenty -seven years ago, when we bought this place, everyone told us to bulldozer it, but we kept working on it, my step-son had a huge malignant brain tumor, and I had to commute two hours to find work. Life can be hard, but take one hour or one minute at a time. Love, kisses and lots of hugs, ((we're here for you) Sally

Colette wrote:

> I'm so sorry it's been so long ! I've been reading everyday, but i've
> been in my own little world of self pity poor me! And I did'nt want to
> pull you guys in my little depressed world!
> I once again thought of jumping off the bridge< still think of that
> sometimes!! Well we finally got health insurance its ok but god forbid
> if i need to go to the ER because thats $100co-pay yikes! But i did make
> an appt. with a gasteroligist but thats not until sept 28th. So in the
> mean time what should i do? I am literally starving myself afraid to eat
> for fear i won't poop! By the time i see this doc. he is going to want
> to addmitt me, believe me i'm losing weight fast! I wonder if this has
> anything to do with my past i was anorioxic(sp)! I feel for HelenC. i
> too can get so tired and my joints feel awful very hard to move but i
> force myself because my kids need me but believe me sometimes i think it
> would be better for them with out me! I know most of my problem is lack
> of nutrition and its very hard for me to look at food! My husband has
> tried goodies choc. chip cookies candy something and no can do! I think
> that my intestenal problems has caused me an eating disorder is that
> possible?
> Our health insurances is called Uniteded health Most of the co-pays are
> $10 for mentel health out patient is $25per visit $100 dollars for ER
> unless they keep me which i would beg them so they would waive the $100!
> Well my back is killing me sorry for whinning!
> Love ya all!
> Colette
>


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