Re: More humor

From: Sally Grigg (lostcst@mcn.org)
Tue Jun 19 20:33:31 2001


Lynda, you made me pee all over my chair. BUT, it was worth it. Love, Sally

Lgapmon@aol.com wrote:

> Now remember not to LOL (Laugh Out Loud) because that hurts...over here it's
> what, SMK? (Slap My Knee) Hope this helps to cheer you up Colette.
>
> Love,
>
> Lynda M. in AZ
> ~~~~~
> Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as
> possible.
>
> These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
>
> On Sears hairdryer:
> Do not use while sleeping.
> (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
>
> On a bag of Fritos:
> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
> (The shoplifter special?)
>
> On a bar of Dial soap:
> Directions: Use like regular soap.
> (and that would be how?)
>
> On some Swann frozen dinners:
> Serving suggestion: Defrost.
> (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
>
> On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
> Fits one head.
> (Ahhhhh....OK...'nuff said....)
>
> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
> Do not turn upside down.
> (Too late! You lose!)
>
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> Product will be hot after heating.
> (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
>
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> Do not iron clothes on body.
> (But wouldn't that save more time?)
> (Whose body?)
>
> On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
> Do not drive car or operate machinery.
> (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept
> those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
>
> On Nytol sleep aid:
> Warning: may cause drowsiness.
> (One would hope!)
>
> On a Korean kitchen knife:
> Warning: keep out of children.
> (or pets! What's for dinner?)
>
> On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
> For indoor or outdoor use only.
> (As opposed to use in outer space?)
>
> On a Japanese food processor:
> Not to be used for the other use.
> (Now I'm curious!!)
>
> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> Warning: contains nuts.
> (but no peas?)
>
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
> (have a lobotomy)
>
> On a Swedish chainsaw:
> Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
> (What is this, a home castration kit?)
>
> On a child's Superman costume:
> Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
> (That's right, destroy a universX-Mozilla!!)
>
> On a Wet-Nap
>
> Instructions: Open Wet-Nap. Unfold Wet-Nap. Use Wet-Nap
> (Now where would I be without that third crucial step.
> I was just opening, unfolding and throwing away!)
>
> ****************************************************************************
>
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