This is in no way taking light of the situation of not having a bowel
movement for long periods of time, but sometimes we have to find humor in
this disease. My best one is when I tell my children that I will be seeing
them in an hour as I am now going to try to pass a baseball, that just
doesn't want to fit through the opening provided. I've told them if I
succeed I will ask for a bat. My son has offered me a spoon to help and my
daughter has asked what would make me have to pass something in the shape of
a baseball, as hers doesn't resemble anything like a baseball at all. Well,
I explained when it doesn't come out for days it seems to just keep rolling
around and around until it forms the shape of a baseball, but unfortunately,
our bodies (that particular area) doesn't want to pass anything in the shape
of a baseball as it's just not large enough. They laugh, go on their merry
way, and I can complete a whole crossword puzzle in there with drizzles of
sweat dripping on the words (don't use felt tip pens), not screaming loudly,
but just asking "please get this outta me," as it won't go back in and won't
come out.