Hi Jackie!!  I too have a similar feeling towards my hospital and doctors in general.  But what happened?  Was it the surgeons fault?  I wouldn't let that man get near me again with a 10 foot pole (is that the surgical tool they used on you?)  Maybe they didn't know where all your organs were due to the adhesions and they have a little better idea now.  When I was at my worst and fearful of surgery, I used self hypnosis.  First I pictured myself on a tropical beach and stayed there awhile.  I imagined handsome bodybuilders fanning me and serving me drinks.  I watched the children play in the waves.  After I was calm and comfortable I visualized walking into the hospital calm and confident.  I visualized a successful surgery and recovery.  Then I visualized myself resuming my activities and hobbies.  I know it sounds silly but it helped me.  If you have checked out the surgeon and feel confident with him it helps.  At any rate my prayers and thoughts are with you!! :0) jessica