Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt

From: Millie (milliem@citlink.net)
Sat Mar 3 14:09:03 2001

Dear Mary, Yes, every bit of what you say makes sense to me. I went to that ob/gyn yesterday. I told her I've been worse since the surgery. I asked her if she could have some tests run, such as a CAT scan, or as much as I hate them,those barium tests, as I have steady pain, and uno urge to go. I told her the last decent bm I had was around Feb.3. SHe insisted I look much better since the surgery. I told her looks are very deceiving. I asked her whow the pathology looked, and she said it only showed a few tiny fibroids. She now says I had moderate adhesions. I didn't get mad at her, but I had a list of questions that I needed answered. I asked her if she ever heard tell of adhesiolysis. She said that was an old treatment. Was it? I thought it may be fairly new. She said it doesn't work for everyone. She said I could try it. Now she says I should try pain management. I said I would. She said she removed all of it because I cried that I had a lot of pelvic pain. I told her I have much more pain since the TAH. She still insists I look much better since. I may as well talk to the wall. I get such pains behind the navel, and it's harder to pass gas. Mary, I'm so scared that I don't know what to do. I did sign up for pain management. I didn't tell her I met Dr. Redan. But when I mentioned adhesiolysis, she said I could try it, but it doesn't work for everyone. As far as the grief cycle I am somewhere between denial and anger, but with a hair of acceptance thrown in. I saved and even printed up that paper you are talking about. My husband went in with me, but didn't say a word. Thanks for answering me. I am still waiting for my medical records to be copied and released to me. Millie 
--


>----- Original Message -----
From: "Karla" <ifirgit@new.rr.com>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2001 9:31 AM
Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt


> Millie,
>
> I totally agree with Mary and I guess I am guilty of not explaining myself


> more clearly.  When we go into the doctor's office ready to do battle we
> will often times come out empty handed if it is not handled correctly.
>
> We cannot go in with all our weapons drawn so to speak.  What I try and do
> now...and it has taken me a long time to get to where I can even question
> the doctor...is sit and hear what he has to say.  When it appears that he
is
> going to do nothing...or is going to do something we don't like...that is
> when I start asking questions.  We can't enter their offices already on
the
> attack because they will automatically put up every wall possible.  Once
> they have done what they are going to do I start asking my own questions
and
> making my own demands....but I don't come across as being demanding
because
> I don't do it in an attacking fashion.  When I last dealt with not getting
> the appropriate pain medicine I told them that the medicine was just not
> working....I heard what they had to say...then I told them very nicely
that
> I was aware of patient's rights and my right to receive adequate pain
> relief.  That has worked every single time.  But as Mary has stated, I
think
> it only works because I am not attacking the doctor.
>
> Karla


>> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Mary Wade" <acbcsrt@kansas.net>
> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
> <adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
> Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2001 7:51 AM
> Subject: RE: Uploading Photos to Quilt
>
> > Dear Millie,  First I want to apologize for not getting back to you
before
> > you went to the doctor.  I am usually gone for part of each work week
and
> > do not get on the computer to answer emails.
> >
> > I don't know that I have much to add at this point to that
> "Coulda/Shoulda"
> > paper that I sent you earlier.  I wrote most of what I know as
"workable"
> > in that paper.  I'd love for others to edit it and add suggestions to
that
> > piece.  I was going to attach it now but see that I don't have it on
this
> > computer.  Ask if you want it.  It's in the archives somewhere, too.
> >
> > Often, I don't think it's so much WHAT we say....as what our body
language
> > is saying to them.  In my work as an audiologist in an medical office, I
> > see patients all day long.  Over the years, we learn to "read" all the
> > unspoken messages as well as the spoken ones.  Someone comes in ready to
> > beat me over the head?  Do I pick up on that immediately?  You bet.
What
> > is the normal human reaction to that?  Defensive position.
> >
> > If you want your health care provider to HELP you....don't put them in
> that
> > defensive position because immediately you are off to a bad start.  They
> > are highly trained, yes....but they are HUMAN.  And so are we patients.
> >  Part of the human condition is one of "no guarantees" except that of
> > eventual physical death.  My life was not given with a "pain-free
> > guarantee" stamped on my butt.  The Serenity Prayer....which I can't
> > quote....(maybe someone else can post it)....is a good summary of the
> > attitude I have had to hang on to over the years.
> >
> > Now comes the hard part.  The first step is figure out what to do with
> your
> > animosity.  If you need to talk to a professional counselor-type to work
> > through some of this, just go do it.  Can't hurt....might help.  The
> mental
> > stress of keeping that going does not help with the pain....it only
makes
> > it worse.  I am not smart at telling other people how to do this.  I
just
> > know that we have to realize that when we experience a tragic loss of
any
> > kind...that we will go through a grief cycle.  The stages of that cycle
> > are: 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) acceptance.  The acceptance
> > stage frees us up to get on with our lives, but we have to deal with
each
> > of those other steps first.  And just because we get to the acceptance
> > level at one point in time....doesnt' mean that we don't have to trek
back
> > through that cycle at a later date.
> >
> > In the sorts of encounters that we chronic-pain ppl have with doctors,
we
> > have to know going into the consultation that we do with our egos...and
> how
> > the docs handle their egos....makes a big difference in how much
progress
> > will be made.  You get two egos battling and the stuff for which you are
> > seeking attention ends up on the floor.  And by "ego," I am not using
the
> > word as it's commonly used.  By "ego" I mean the absolute unwillingness
to
> > let go of the "me-me-me-ness" for a bit....to just sit there and try to
> > "be" that other person.  It's not so hard to do this.  Practice at home
> > with your family.  When/if we can drop the ego-dance in our trickiest of
> > our human interactions, it's amazing how open, honest, and caring the
> other
> > person can be.  We have to be willing to REALLY hear what our docs are
> > saying.  When a doc says, "I can't help you now.".....that means, "I
don't
> > have anything to offer you right now."  We may not LIKE that idea...but
> the
> > doc is telling the truth as he/she knows it.  If that is what the doc
> says,
> > then the ONLY course of action with that doc is to ask, "Where can you
> send
> > me to get me some help.  Give me your very best advice and what you see
as
> > the options."  (Just curious...what did your ob/gyn say about you going
to
> > see Dr. Redan?)  I always like to throw in....while looking deeply into
> > their eyes, "Let's say that I am your most beloved
> > mother/daugher/sister/wife.....what now do you advise?"
> >
> > Does any of this make any sense?  It's very difficult to describe in
words
> > "what works for me" when talking about attitude.  Please keep in mind
this
> > is my style.....others here have other styles of communication that work
> > well also.  I can only speak to what I know....or as my friend says, "I
> can
> > do no better than to walk in the light that I have."  (Did THAT just
sound
> > like a disclaimer??? LOL at me!)  OK...outta here...
> >
> > In friendship, Mary
> >
> > Original Message-----
> > From: Millie [SMTP:milliem@citlink.net]
> > Sent: Thursday, March 01, 2001 2:40 PM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
> > Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt
> >
> > Dear Mary,
> > How are you? I have an extremely important question for you. Tomorrow I
go
> > back to that ob/gyn who did my TAH and cut adhesions. How shold I talk
to
> > her? I feel I have a lot of questions that I want answered, some of
which
> > she won't like, I'm sure.
> > Mary, How do I get her to take me seriously about the bowel problems and
> > the
> > pain? Also, How do I let her know how miserable I am, and how serious I
am
> > about these issues? I'm no better after a month.
> > Thanks so much for your help.
> > Millie


>> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Mary Wade" <acbcsrt@kansas.net>
> > To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
> > <adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
> > Sent: Wednesday, February 28, 2001 11:07 PM
> > Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt
> >
> > > OK...stupid question here.  If we all have photos on the quilt, when
we
> > > click on the master list of the quilt, will it take forever to load?
Or
> > > just slower loading when we click on an individual name?  I was
thinking
> > > that if the whole quilt loads much slower because of the pictures, it
> > might
> > > be discouraging for someone just breezing through.  BUT, I DO want to
> see
> > > all your darlin mugs....so I might be just fine with letting the ppl
> > > breezing through be discouraged at slow loading times :)))))  I just
> > clicked
> > > on Kathy Lindley's quilt block..and it is really striking to see the
> face
> > > behind the words.  Seems....different somehow.  Hits me harder.  Cold
in
> > > Kansas, Mary
> > >
> > > At 09:54 PM 2/28/01 -0600, you wrote:
> > > >I just tried to upload my Photo and it didn't work!
> > > >I am very well acquainted with doing this and I tried 2 different
> > > >formats and it rejected both.
> > > >I sent an email to the administrator asking why.
> > > >I will let you know.
> > > >JEAN (from PA)
> > > >
> > > >--
> > > >Jean (from PA)
> > > >
> > > > to the unsubscribe form at
> http://www.adhesions.org/forums/listcmds.htm
> > > >
> > >
> > >  to the unsubscribe form at


http://www.adhesions.org/forums/listcmds.htm
> >
>

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