Terri Lynch wrote:
> Hi everyone,I have sit here reading all the messages and I think all
> of us have felt like enough is enough and I can't take it anymore. I
> know that I would be the first one to admit it....I am a very
> compassionate person when it comes to others and I feel each and
> everyone's pain. I sit, lay, do anything to get comfortable. But then
> it seems that nothing works. I understand the sleepless nights the
> long waking hours and yet no relief. I guess I feel like Drs. degrade
> us make us feel less somehow and we except what they say as face
> value. Well for one I have stopped believing Drs. know all. Because if
> they did they would do more than what they do to help us. I guess I
> am angry today. I heard from social security this week and was denied.
> Just another thing to disappoint me and my family. I was refused
> because I have the capability to think and handle my affairs..what
> affairs..I haven't wrote a check in months except to the Drs. offices.
> I can't go shopping, I can't sit at my boys games and cheer them on, I
> can't make love to my husband, I can't drive my car(especially since I
> had them two minor fender benders a few months ago and Dewitt took
> away my keys) But yet I am able to earn a living. So after feeling
> like a failure on all them things I have really gotten to the point
> where it seems this is life and I have to live it....what fun.....I
> sit and think man, I sure must have done something bad in a past life
> to get all this on me...I mean all I wanted was a little money to help
> my husband. I sit here watching him work himself into a early grave.
> He doesn't take a day off. If he is at home he paces the floors
> worrying about how are we going to pay this or pay that..And then the
> stress that we went through a couple of weeks ago...I know what you
> mean when you say I am tired...I AM TIRED! I did something I
> shouldn't have a few days ago and really haven't told many about it. I
> feel ashamed of what I did. I was upset and tired of feeling like the
> troubles with everything was my fault and I was a failure. I sat down
> and wrote a letter to the ones I loved and basically said I was sorry
> but I was tired. Then I picked up some of my meds and took them. Thank
> God that I didn't take enough....I did black out and I broke my
> nose....I know now that that was wrong that I was better then that and
> I deserved better in life and my family deserved better then me
> cowering out on them...I would never do that again..but I know it was
> God that let me live...Please when anyone gets TIRED talk to someone
> and really reflect on how that giving up would be on your
> family...Please don't think I am a bad person for wanting to give
> up....I was TIRED...I lost track of the big picture...If I wouldn't
> have this disease my life would be great...but, because of it I have
> made friends that I will cherish for a life time. I have learned that
> when I am down they are there to lift me up...... So to all if you
> ever feel like that talk.....we are not alone and that is a wonderful
> thing..we have others to take a little of the load and may have
> answers for you to help.... Love and hugs to allTerri