At Sun, 24 Dec 2000, Nikiti wrote:
>
>Hello all,
>I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this site, I think I am still in
>shock! For YEARS I have been suffering with adhesions and pain, they
>said I have Asherman's Syndrome, which was explained to me as being
>(quote) "severe, dense adhesions that have pulled my insides together
>and stuck them like glue"... I never knew that there were other people
>out there that have been through what I have and that continue to suffer
>just like me. I mean, I knew there MUST be someone else like me
>somewhere in this world..but I would never know them, I am pleased to
>see that I am wrong about that. I don't have a life (sexual or other),
>I suffer daily in horrific pain, I most of the time feel like I am alone
>and that nobody believes that I am in the pain that I claim to be in...
>I have supportive family and friends and a wonderful husband that has
>been with me for all 5 of my surgerys and he never complains...but I
>still get those awful feelings of being alone and not being believed
>about my problems. I had my first surgery when I was 16 yrs old.. I
>had an ovarian cyst on my right ovary and upon opening up my stomach and
>removing the cyst (along with half of my ovary) the doctors found out
>that I was born without a left ovary, I have the tube, just no ovary.
>Then 5 years later I had another cyst (they average grapefruit size and
>bigger) and they did another surgery, I had mild adhesions but nothing
>serious, then a few years later, I had another cyst and they were
>supposed to do a laporoscopy, that ended up being a 9 hour surgery and
>when I woke up I had tubes everywhere, even one down my nose to keep my
>stomach empty so it could heal from having been cut on to remove
>adhesions.. I was in the hospital over a week and the doctor told me
>that my insides were "obliterated" it was such a mess and he had never
>seen adhesions so bad that they made a video tape of it and use it at
>the University as a teaching video! I could not believe what he told
>me..I had never heard of anything like what he said, my tubes were
>"glued" on top of my uterus, my "fatpad" had to be taken out, he said
>basically every organ in my body except my heart and lungs were cut on
>because of adhesions. Hearing what he told me made me sick! =*( I wish
>I could say that this was the end of my story...but it is only the
>begining.. I wont go into detail about the rest because I realize I
>have written so much already. Now though, I am facing another surgery,
>2 years ago I had a complete hysterectomy, removing what was left of my
>ovary and tubes... I didnt want the hysterectomy because I didnt want
>to go through "the change" so young.. but they promised me if I had it
>done, I would never have another cyst and I could have a normal life
>again. Well as many of you who suffer from adhesions and pain know, if
>anyone can offer you a "normal" life, you would do anything they asked
>you to do, right? So I agreed. (For a "simple" hysterectomy, I was in
>surgery for 11 1/2 hours and they had problems with me bleeding and of
>course I had severe, dense adhesions and everything was once again
>"glued" together). But now, just a week ago..I was rushed to the
>hospital in a squad because I thought my bladder had burst or something,
>I was paralized and the pain was so bad I fainted... after every test
>known to man was done on me (CT scan, ultra sound, vaginal ultra sound,
>a pelvic, pap smear, blood samples, urine samples, etc...) they informed
>me that I have a grapefruit sized cyst on my ovary!! I almost passed out
>from shock! Of course my first question to the doctor was HOW??? I wasnt
>supposed to have an ovary, I suffered through that last surgery so I
>wouldnt have to do this again, the doctors PROMISED me! I broke down and
>I think I had a nervous breakdown right there... the ER doctor wasnt
>very sympathetic and told me "well because you have such a mess inside,
>they must have missed part of your ovary, NO big deal, they can just go
>back in and take it out... You have had 5 surgerys for adhesions,
>cysts, and to fix the hernia caused by your #3 surgery, you are a pro
>now, he he he" Grrrrrrrr... How insensitive can you get?? I know he was
>trying to make light of the situation, but I was in NO mood for it. So
>now, I am scared to death! The last surgery, I almost died, they couldnt
>get the bleeding to stop, I have a 5 inch hole in my stomach from a
>surgical hernia and they put 2 layers of mesh on it which in turn made a
>blood clot form on top of it and I looked 9 mos pregnant, and it is
>still not gone! The doctor said my body would eventually re-absorb the
>blood clot...it hasnt happened as of yet. And now they tell me I have
>to go through it all again??? Oh my gosh =*( My family is pushing me to
>do it, they just want me to be well...But they dont understand that
>mentally I feel like if I go in for another surgery (they seem to get
>worse each and everytime I have a surgery) I feel like I wont wake up
>when they put me to sleep, I feel like I dont have any fight left in me
>to pull me through. I feel hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless.
>Im sorry I have written so much, I didnt know what to say when I first
>started writing and now I cant seem to stop! I guess I will end it
>here...I just needed to vent, and I know that all of you will
>understand. THANK YOU to whomever made this site!!
>Anyone that wishes, feel free to email me if you want to talk, I am not
>only good at talking but Im one heck of a good listener =)
>
>--
>~Nikiti
>