Hello all,
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this site, I think I am still in
shock! For YEARS I have been suffering with adhesions and pain, they
said I have Asherman's Syndrome, which was explained to me as being
(quote) "severe, dense adhesions that have pulled my insides together
and stuck them like glue"... I never knew that there were other people
out there that have been through what I have and that continue to suffer
just like me. I mean, I knew there MUST be someone else like me
somewhere in this world..but I would never know them, I am pleased to
see that I am wrong about that. I don't have a life (sexual or other),
I suffer daily in horrific pain, I most of the time feel like I am alone
and that nobody believes that I am in the pain that I claim to be in...
I have supportive family and friends and a wonderful husband that has
been with me for all 5 of my surgerys and he never complains...but I
still get those awful feelings of being alone and not being believed
about my problems. I had my first surgery when I was 16 yrs old.. I
had an ovarian cyst on my right ovary and upon opening up my stomach and
removing the cyst (along with half of my ovary) the doctors found out
that I was born without a left ovary, I have the tube, just no ovary.
Then 5 years later I had another cyst (they average grapefruit size and
bigger) and they did another surgery, I had mild adhesions but nothing
serious, then a few years later, I had another cyst and they were
supposed to do a laporoscopy, that ended up being a 9 hour surgery and
when I woke up I had tubes everywhere, even one down my nose to keep my
stomach empty so it could heal from having been cut on to remove
adhesions.. I was in the hospital over a week and the doctor told me
that my insides were "obliterated" it was such a mess and he had never
seen adhesions so bad that they made a video tape of it and use it at
the University as a teaching video! I could not believe what he told
me..I had never heard of anything like what he said, my tubes were
"glued" on top of my uterus, my "fatpad" had to be taken out, he said
basically every organ in my body except my heart and lungs were cut on
because of adhesions. Hearing what he told me made me sick! =*( I wish
I could say that this was the end of my story...but it is only the
begining.. I wont go into detail about the rest because I realize I
have written so much already. Now though, I am facing another surgery,
2 years ago I had a complete hysterectomy, removing what was left of my
ovary and tubes... I didnt want the hysterectomy because I didnt want
to go through "the change" so young.. but they promised me if I had it
done, I would never have another cyst and I could have a normal life
again. Well as many of you who suffer from adhesions and pain know, if
anyone can offer you a "normal" life, you would do anything they asked
you to do, right? So I agreed. (For a "simple" hysterectomy, I was in
surgery for 11 1/2 hours and they had problems with me bleeding and of
course I had severe, dense adhesions and everything was once again
"glued" together). But now, just a week ago..I was rushed to the
hospital in a squad because I thought my bladder had burst or something,
I was paralized and the pain was so bad I fainted... after every test
known to man was done on me (CT scan, ultra sound, vaginal ultra sound,
a pelvic, pap smear, blood samples, urine samples, etc...) they informed
me that I have a grapefruit sized cyst on my ovary!! I almost passed out
from shock! Of course my first question to the doctor was HOW??? I wasnt
supposed to have an ovary, I suffered through that last surgery so I
wouldnt have to do this again, the doctors PROMISED me! I broke down and
I think I had a nervous breakdown right there... the ER doctor wasnt
very sympathetic and told me "well because you have such a mess inside,
they must have missed part of your ovary, NO big deal, they can just go
back in and take it out... You have had 5 surgerys for adhesions,
cysts, and to fix the hernia caused by your #3 surgery, you are a pro
now, he he he" Grrrrrrrr... How insensitive can you get?? I know he was
trying to make light of the situation, but I was in NO mood for it. So
now, I am scared to death! The last surgery, I almost died, they couldnt
get the bleeding to stop, I have a 5 inch hole in my stomach from a
surgical hernia and they put 2 layers of mesh on it which in turn made a
blood clot form on top of it and I looked 9 mos pregnant, and it is
still not gone! The doctor said my body would eventually re-absorb the
blood clot...it hasnt happened as of yet. And now they tell me I have
to go through it all again??? Oh my gosh =*( My family is pushing me to
do it, they just want me to be well...But they dont understand that
mentally I feel like if I go in for another surgery (they seem to get
worse each and everytime I have a surgery) I feel like I wont wake up
when they put me to sleep, I feel like I dont have any fight left in me
to pull me through. I feel hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless.
Im sorry I have written so much, I didnt know what to say when I first
started writing and now I cant seem to stop! I guess I will end it
here...I just needed to vent, and I know that all of you will
understand. THANK YOU to whomever made this site!!
Anyone that wishes, feel free to email me if you want to talk, I am not
only good at talking but Im one heck of a good listener =)