Re: scared

From: alanbaleyko (
Wed Mar 22 07:09:58 2000

Toni, I know how you feel. When my pain was intense it was so easy to dwell on death and illness. I felt worthless to my family as if I was just taking up space and breathing room here. But I began to concentrate on every little piece of good I was doing for everyone, and all my daughter wants me to do is listen to her vent anyway. I try to remember that even if I was healthy there would be no guantee that I would be here for my daughter on her wedding day. Car accidents, cancer takes people every day. The gift in this disease is that it has made me realize that there may not be a tomorrow so I try to say everything that needs to be said to my girls every day. I don't let a moment for a hug or a kiss, or a word of wisdom pass. But I don't dwell on the fact that I may be gone, I just seize the day. And all that is hard to do when you are in pain. I guess all I am really trying to say to you is that I understand how you feel. Hang in there and I know we will all find relief soon. Jessica

toni welsh wrote:

> I am even afraid that I will not see my son get married, and have
> children, I amm just not enjoying life, and alot of my family cannot
> believe I faer these things. I hope I do, I guess all the deaths and
> sickness in the last 5 years MAY be making me feel this way, and I do
> not feel good myself. Sorry to bother you again.
> Toni

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