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At Tue, 22 Feb 2000, alanbaleyko wrote:
If it was something I have written to cause this letter to be written, I apologize. I will just quietly lurk from now on! Again, if this letter refers to something I have inadvertently, unintentionally have said wrong, I am sorry. Best wishes to all, Jessica
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My name is Tara and I am suffering from this problem since I am 20 years old. My original surgery was for a very large ovarian cyst and 8 years and 7 surgeries later, I no longer have a gall bladder, an appendix, my left fallopian tube, my left ovary, and a few sections of my small intestine. I have not gone one year in the 8 without at least a month in the hospital and hyperal and lipids and portacaths and central lines and nasogastric tubes and lots of pain medication, etc. etc. You know the deal. I completely relate to everything you have all said on this forum and it is great to know that I am not alone. I, too, have felt like I wish it would just stop and I could just lay down to sleep and not wake up. I have days where I have only twinges of pain (twinges in my eyes, probably excruciating to the average person) and other days where I get pains that could make me suicidal or even homicidal. I am afraid 90% of the time that the next day will be spent in a hospital and I never plan too far in advance for anything. I am lonely because I feel as if nobody understands me or what I have been through. I have experienced emotions from people ranging from disenchantment to a complete fear that I have the "cooties" or something because I am ill all of the time. My doctors look sad and frustrated everytime they see me again in the hospital. I rarely see them in their offices because I am somewhat well when I am not hospitalized. My finances have suffered greatly and I feel as if I will never marry and find someone who is willing to stick with someone who spends as much time sick as she does healthy and cannot say that she will be well ever. I guess it is just nice to know that I am not alone. Who is Dr. Wiseman and why did he start this forum? Thank you all for your comments. I have found them both informative and helpful.