I can totally understand why people kill themselves. There is no help
just circles upon vicious circles. Doctors who don't understand, family
that doesn't believe you and a life that no longer exists for the person
that this happens to. The doctor who did this gets no punishment and
the families that suffer just continue to suffer. I don't know why this
happened to me. All I know is that I wouldn't wish this fate on the
most evil person in the world. I can't take care of my kids or myself.
I see normal mommies at the park or the fair on my way to useless doctor
appointments and I realize that I will never be happy again. There is
no way out. I was robbed of a normal life with my family and I am
emotionally and physically beat up. I don't sleep and I don't eat yet
the doctors say those are psychological symptoms. What I do every day
is exist and I don't want to do this anymore. I have been going for
massages and he says he feels a mess of adhesions all the way up to my
diaphragm yet I can't get one doctor to listen to me. I question my
existence every day. I am no longer a wife or a mother. I am a burden
and I don't know how much longer I can be that. I have lost everything.
I am broken.