Re: Dear Cheryl/Sally/pain meds worked out

From: HERB F DIXON (herbcheryl1@msn.com)
Tue Mar 3 14:41:17 2009


Hey Donna, I know about wanting the Son to move out. My eldest son left us for an online romance. He married the girl, and she turned him against his family, and friends. He did not speak with us for 1 1/2 years. He came back home in 2006 a MESS! He is Bipolar, has Anxiety disorder, personality disorder, I cannot remember everything. He is almost 26. Last May he was admited to the Mental Health Clinic and was there for almost 2 weeks. It was a mess. I had nervous breakdowns. He was either very manic and over the edge, or very depressed, our house was bugged, he was being followed. The police, and Emt's came to get him, and he would not get out of the shower, he was fully clothed, and had the cold water running on his head. He was afraid that if he got out of the shower his brain would explode. Come to find out when he was with his wife, she turned him in 3 other times. He refuses to take meds for Bi Polar, takes them for Anxiety. We have many experiences almost daily of manic episodes. I take valium to help. He does what he wants, argues alot, gets pissed and punches doors, windshields etc. We have tried everything. I even told him I am afraid of him, that did upset him a lot. On the other hand, he is so sweet, loving and kind. We feel that if he was on bi polar meds he would be at an even keel. He says he does not need them. Common sense is out the window! We have been to 1 NAMI meeting and really need to go again. Mental illnes is so rough. I don't know about ODD, but it doesn't sound much better than what we deal with. He also has some health problems, Gastroparesis, which I also have, neck and back problems. So anyway a break would be heaven! If we go away, he invites people to hang out, play music etc. We always say we don't want anyone here, and we always know how it is going to turn out. His illnesses are more important than mine, and he expects me to do everything for him when all I want to do is be alone and just deal with my health problems. A Mom always needs to be a Mom there is no time off. I do love him very much, the situation is very trrying. The thing to remember is that he and the illnesses are seperate. That is the first thing that you are told. Wow I'm sorry I have just gone off. The helpline story was a bunch of BS. I am so sorry it was so rough for you. The gal that I had spoke with helped me so much. Being in the hospital for 1 week i'm sure was no fun, but if it was the only way that you could focus on you, so be it. GTG Thanks so much for listening. I can so identify about running away from your kids, but I want my husband to go with me We joke about it a lot. We have our youngest in College and living away from home. I have even asked If I could come down, sleep on his couch, stay out of the way and not bother anyone. He is like right Mom! I tried. It was nice to hear your story too Donna. We all have our hands full. Take Care! Cheryl D.

Date: Tue, 3 Mar 2009 15:00:50 -0600 From: donnajohansen@telus.net To: adhesions@mail.obgyn.net Subject: Re: Dear Cheryl/Sally/pain meds worked out

Hi Cheryl/all You have offered some wisdom here and I too appreciate hearing any and all tips that help. I do have a funny story to tell about talking to someone on a helpline though.....we all need some humor right? My youngest son has a behavior disability called Oppositional Defiant Disorder...anyone familiar with it? Well, getting help for this issue is very much like being diagnosed with ARD! We didn't receive one until it was too late to do anything substantive about it. Anyway, teenagers as we know, will overreact or become oppositional BUT those with ODD are way beyond the norm. Out of control since age 3 or....like a constant terrible two! A year ago I was dying with ARD and he was so bad which then cause my older son to rebel then my husband was going out of his mind.....I was going to end it all, or try and get to a shelter....so, I called one. After talking with them awhile it became obvious the person had not one idea of what was going on at my house!! She wouldn't offer me a respite (I guess thinking it was preferred if I just did myself in which I already had plans of doing)and said, in so many words, well just get to it then!! Parenting that is....she'd never had a woman running from her children, just from mean men.....until me. (Since that time I have been told this person was totally wrong and at the very least I should have been offered a place to re-group.. she was going to be spoken to about it) Needless to say I pulled through but not until ending up in the hospital for a week. Although I am praying for the day when my son leaves home for some quality time on his own and I occasionally feel like falling apart, I am doing much better. The human will to live is so great, the desire for quality of life too strong, and the need for respect and dignity is too urgent which is how we can get through many things, don't give up hope.

Donna J

From: adhesions@adhesions.org [mailto:adhesions@adhesions.org] On Behalf Of HERB F DIXON Sent: Sunday, March 01, 2009 7:51 PM To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS Subject: Re: Dear Cheryl/Sally/pain meds worked out

Hi Christina, I am not the Cheryl that you are referring to with Sally. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. We have all been there adhesions totally SUCK!! I would actually love to run a marathon, and even have wild sex LOL But it just doesn't happen like that as we know. Reading what you have written just tears me up. I know you can't do this anymore, I say it all of the time. Just give me a break. I am not the most religious person, but I do believe in God, and I do pray and will pray for you. We watch the 700 Club every day. You can contact them and someone will listen and pray with you. Don't think for a moment that your son hates you! He may be disappointed and feeling let down because you can no longer do a lot of things anymore. Just make sure and keep communication open with your kids. Let them understand what you are going through. How old are they? You can still be a fun Mom, just in other ways, play hangman, watch a favorite show together, ask what they would like to do that is not physical. Maybe your ex can take over playing catch, or someone in your neighborhood can play with him. Have you applied for disability? Are you getting any help from adult and family services? Maybe you can work out a chart with your kids for chores and either pay them a reasonable amount not $20.00 for a load of clothes. If you can't pay them, maybe a special treat pizza and movie night? You sound like me, I have always done it all, then when I can't I feel very guilty about it. I no longer vacuum, or do any heavy work. When my kids were younger they would put the clothes in the washer, then the dryer, then put them either on my bed, or Kitchen table to be folded, then I was not bending over. When you are feeling so awful, I know you just get frustrated and angry that much easier. Are you taking any antidepressants? Most cities have a mental health phone line that you can call 24/7 just for someone to listen when the load is too heavy. I have actually called a couple of times. It feels good just to have someone to talk with, they may have suggestions to help too. They have all kinds of info and phone numbers to help people and it is not just for mental health. I haven't found anything that works. I take my meds percocet 5-325, 2 every 4 hours, I also take methadone 20 mg. AM and 20 mg PM. I put the heating pad on my tummy and pray for relief. Find things to make your load easier. I have even put away things just so I don't have to dust them. We use paper plates a lot less dishes to do. Do you have family, or friends nearby? If so call them. As hard as it is ask for help. I am sure that you have helped others out many times. If your courses have gotten to be too much can you quit, or take a leave from it and go back when you are doing better. I know when I get stressed out I do feel worse and my pain intensifies. Do you belong to a church? If you do, maybe someone there can help, even talking with a pastor. You need to give yourself a break, and even pampering. Hot bath, and listen to a favorite CD. If you wan to, you can contact me at my email. I hope I haven't come across too strong, or pushy. I just feel for you, and totally understand how awful you are feeling. You hang in there, tomorrow is another day, and hopefully better. Good luck and don't give up! Your kids need their Mom. Cheryl D. -----

Original Message ----- From: Christina To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS Sent: Sunday, March 01, 2009 3:53 PM Subject: Re: Dear Cheryl/Sally/pain meds worked out

I try to tell myself, "Tomorrow will be a better day." Maybe an extra episode of Joyce Meyers will work. Maybe if I pay my kids $20.00 to help me with ONE load of laundry I can catch up. I find myself laying on the couch telling myself, "I really need to see a pain specialist about this because I can't take it anymore....WAIT.. I AM SEEING A PAIN SPECIALIST!!! I already looked for other doctors but they want $350.00 for a first visit. My x-husband quit paying me $200.00 a month for babysitting and house work because I failed to keep up with two loads of wash a day, keeping counters,stoves,microwaves,vaccuumung the house- I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. Because my specialist told me I needed to get a great job, I enrolled in a four year college degree program online. I am totally lying to myself thinking that I will recover-that I will get beter,but what am I supposed to do, give up? I have nobody willing to take care of me. I cannot get married to someone with geat health insurance because some of my diseases are sexually transmitted (and having sex hurts real bad). My energy level is getting worse. If I do not drink at least 20 cups of coffee a day or take my milk thistle, I get real weak. The milk thistle keeps me from getting that sick feeling that Hep C sufferers get, It does work great. I thought I could find a way to treat this pain issue alone and I found nothing. I wish I never started college. If I knew I would be in this kind of pain before I had my gallbladder out, I would have just let myself die. I suffered with this pain for years. I thought my gallbladder was the whole problem. After my surgery, the green vomit and the green acidic "diarrhea" stopped completely, but the pain remained. My body is a complete lemon and my doctor "DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM IN PAIN? He is a pain specialist? I am starting to douby this very much but he is the only one I can afford. I need someone to pray for me and ask God to please take this pain out of my body. I do not want to run a marathon or have wild sex... I want to walk normally. I am tired of cringing everytime someone walks towards me because I am afraid they will knock into me and hurt me. I am tired of not being able to bend over to get chips out of the bottom cabinet for my kids lunches. My son Richy hates me because I do not play catch with him anymore. I was a fun mom until my pain medication was screwed with. Why did dicloflenac and gabapentin hurt me wqorse than anything I ever did to myself? I had a migrainer and could not take naproxen for it-and this migraine was a 10 point on the pain scale. I lived on naproxen for years, why does it bother me now? I don't want to kill myself, but I do wish for god to give me some pain relief. I am at my witts end on this subject and I think I am officially crazy. If the pain isn't enought, the depression makes things really scary. I have everything in the world I want, except for the full use of my body. If anyone out there found something that works, please e-mail me at barkbark@cox.net as soon as you can. I am alone in this and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to cry anymore..I want to get mad!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank all of you for your time. Dr.Cuddy

>----- Original Message -----
From: "Cuddy" <barkbark@cox.net> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <adhesions@mail.obgyn.net> Sent: Wednesday, February 25, 2009 9:54 AM Subject: Re: Dear Cheryl/Sally/pain meds worked out

>I have Fitz-Hugh-Curtis Syndrome along with the PID. My pain
> specialist: "CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM IN PAIN!!" I originally did not
> believe in pain medication until now. I had the pain specialist (the
> one that understood I was in pain)take me off the percocet and drop me
> down to Lortab 10/500 because I figured if I suffer a little, I would
> not get "hooked." The last visit, the doctor told me he cannot keep
> "giving me pills" because he cannot see why I am in pain. (Keep in mind
> that it takes a referral to get into one of these clinics) My next visit
> is in March. The reason why I am writing is because if there is any
> other way to deal with this, please let me know. And, what is going to
> happen when they take me off of the Lortab all of a sudden? (I am
> barkbark@cox.net). I feel as though politics are involved and this is
> the price I have to pay because "Las Vegas" has a reputation. I am more
> afraid of that pain comming back more than I am afraid of dying. Please
> someone send me an e-mail.
>
> At Tue, 30 Oct 2001, Sally Grigg wrote:
>>
>>Dear CHERYL, I'm sorry you're going through such problems, I was too for a
>>little while, I have a wonderful local doctor, but he had decided to cut
>>back
>>on my meds to see what happened, well, what happened was pain, pain, pain.
>>
>>I've tried mind over matter, but it hasn't worked yet. I wish there was
>>some
>>way you could ommunicate with your present doctor that it doesn't have to
>>be
>>either this or that. I'm trying a combination of opiates, including the
>>patch
>>and oxycontin, plus a few other milder ones. The point is not to take more
>>pills or medication. The point is to be pain free or relatively pain free
>>with
>>the minimum quanitiy of medication. When you mix them, it works best for
>>me.
>>If I'm feeling in so so pain, I take a less potent pill, If I feel like
>>screaming I take a very strong pill. I'm on the patch continuously and it
>>help
>>tremendously. But it needs to be supplemented with other pills.
>>
>>Is there any way you can get this across to your doctor, without offending
>>him. Mine gets kidney stones, and I really believe it has made him a more
>>compassionate man. Everytime, he starts to withdraw my meds, and I start
>>to
>>begin to get upset, I believe he remembers his pain and listens to me and
>>we
>>work something out. So far, so good.
>>
>>Your doctor unfortunately sounds a little childish, sorry, but you
>>probably
>>already think this. He shouldn't be emotionally attached to his diagnosis,
>>and
>>he should be aware that extreme pain needs to be treated in any way
>>possible.
>>
>>We're not in the way of clear lives with no medication, we just want to
>>live
>>somewhat normally without laying in bed all day and moaning and crying.
>>I'm
>>reading the book, Full Catastrophy Living, and So far, so good. Keep up
>>your
>>good spirits. Maybe if you wrote him a letter with the board editing it,
>>he
>>would understand. Good luck., Love, Sally
>>
>
> --
> Dr.Cuddy
>

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