Donna J
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From: adhesions@adhesions.org [mailto:adhesions@adhesions.org] On Behalf Of WendyEbbe3@aol.com Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 5:24 AM To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS Subject: Re: Positive Attitude
Mark,
I know how you feel. My first girl had to taken c-section, that was in 1988 I began having the Symptoms of ARD, but of course it was passed off as IBS. Then my second girl was born natural but she really ripped me. Things really got bad then. Sex was way too painful for a good six months or so. Finally I talked my OBGYN into going in through laporoscopy. Of course I had lots of adhesions in the pelvic area. I felt much better and was ready to resume a sex life with my husband. He said, "No now you know how I f*****g felt. So I finally divorced him. Then of course he kept tell the kids that their Mom is nothing but a freaking bitch. I took a lot of abuse not only from ex but also people from work, My Dr. called work and told the Personell Dept that I was a big baby. I was even told by a surgeon that I'm a hypochondriac. It's very hard for me to positive. Thanks for letting me vent it really helps.
Wendy
========Original Message========
Subj:
Re: Positive Attitude
Date:
2/1/2009 12:27:50 P.M. Central Standard Time
From: mark7@tx3.net
To:
Sent on:
At Fri, 30 Jan 2009, Christi wrote:
>
>Thank you, Jack. I needed to read this tonight. I was considering
leaving my
>husband or at least leaving the house! I don't know why.
Mark writes:
When my ex-wife started crying because after 2 years I was sick for no good reason and not getting better, I took the weight of that responsibility and over-reacted. I left to stay with my parents. She took that opportunity to serve me with divorce papers. 90 days later, we were divorced. So easy.
It wasn't my responsibility to make her feel better. That's what the rational part of me says. But we don't view the world in mere rational terms, do we?
It wasn't smart of her to spew emotionally heavy words, like "you're sucking me down." I still don't know whether I should have agreed with her and asked her to accept things as they were. or whether I should have rejected the statement as false, saying "nobody can suck you down but yourself."
12 years and I still don't know what was the right thing to say. I think about it all the time. No mental health-therapist is willing to venture an option. Maybe it's wrong to try to make sense out of an intractable situation, and grace is the best and only solution.
What do you guys, think?
Yours,
-- Mark in Seattlehttp://www.adhesions.org/forums/listcmds.htm
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