ssdi

From: GloriaMT (tessa541999@yahoo.com)
Mon Feb 9 06:56:24 2004


I was recently approved for SSDI. It took almost 2 years. I have to agree with some of what I have read about getting approved. It really is the symptoms and not the fact that you have adhesions. I did have an attorney to help me. It was a long battle, it took 22 months, but it was well worth it. I received backpay for 22 months. I was going to use that $$ to go back to Germany and have another surgery by Dr. Korell. He is by far the best, nicest,knowlegable, doctor that I have ever been to. He knows that things are pretty seriuos when an American travels so far to try and be helped by him. I would strongly recommend him to anyone.

I said at the beginning that I really had been planning on using my backpay to go to Germany again. But I looked at one of my daughers,14,her sister,13 , came into my room seconds later. I seemed to see a heavy shadow behind each of them. I saw it as the past 4 1/2 years of having to rely so much on them to help not only with housework-but also with the care of my 4 year old twins. I know in my heart that I would never have been able to keep them if it wasn't for their help.

They have been wanting to move for many years. It felt right, I finally get the money to move, and now they don't want to move. I have been to every doctor in the 4 surrounding counties- except for 2. I am not able to drive 300-400 miles to get a simple prescription filled. Currantly we are experiencing -30 degrees below zero. We will be moving-against their wishes.

Even though money problems aren't quite so bad, there are times that I just want to give up. I was scaring myself. I have never before felt so sure that I really just wanted to die. In fact I did try. I had told my girls and my ex, to just leave me alone, I needed to sleep. I'm not sure who tried to wake me first. I can just barely remember my ex holding me from behind, and him shaking me like I was a rag doll, and yelling at me to wake up, wake up.

I guess I was wondering how many women feel like I do. Just how do you cope. The way things are going my 2 teen-age girls are going to wind up hating me and the non-life they had while growing up. I have 2 girls that are grown and gone. They really have no understanding of how awefull life is for me. They just hear from their younger sisters how Mom does nothing, they have to do everything,etc.

How could I be doing right by keeping the twins with me ? They deserve a better mom than me. Yes I am on the pity-pot. I wish I could be tough all the time, but I can't. This is the only place I can get everything out and really believe I am not the only one.


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