purpose of the board!

From: Jean (creative@enter.net)
Tue Jul 29 22:46:17 2003


I don't post on the board anymore due to the fights, pushiness and confrontations but I must state my thoughts and opinions now. I have however been on here for over 3 years and have seen and heard allot. I have probably been more observant than most because I have learned I must look out for myself. I will be as happy as the next person if and when there is a mircale cure, but I also will have very carefully done my home-work!

I am one who came here long ago for support and to learn, however I never really received that "because" I did not and could not afford to go to the doctors people on the board prefered. In spite of this I still helped people with allot of ARD matters and computer help when I was asked. "That" is what this board is suppose to be all about....helping each other, even if it is just showing compassion and an ear to listen.

I did make some friends on here, which I am glad for(and some enemies),and they have for the most part been there for me in private email.

Just to make it clear...I "am not" involved in any way with the stuff that is going on again. I was not even aware of any of these private emails and also missed allot of the posts. I do not care where "anyone" goes for surgery or who likes or dislikes what doctor. I just wish the best for everyone! They do have the right to brag if they are happy with their doctor, no matter who it is, but do not have the right to be pushy and demanding about where people should or must go. No-one should be made to feel they are not wanted and alone because they choose not to go somewhere for whatever reason.

This stuff is not new on the board at all and has gone on from the very beginning. "Everyone" should have the right to choose the doctor he/she prefers whether others agree or not, and that should not hamper them in any way from receiving the support they deserve. No-one should be made to feel they need to be part of a "clique" to fit in. They definitely should not be afraid to speak the truth or ashamed if they do....and it does happen all the time whether anyone admits it or not. This is ridiculous and not humanitarian or helping anyone!!! People need the "truth" to make well-informed decisions.

I have seen allot of people ridiculed for their decisions and/or words, and I certainly don't think that is what this board was intended for! It is their given right!! I for one was made to feel like I was a terrible person because I thought more about the money and did not choose to go bankrupt by going to some of the chosen doctors in the past. I did not choose to be bankrupt and a good chance of still being in pain, only creating "more" problems. I was told money should not be a consideration when your health is concerned and yet people "do" need food in their mouths and a roof over their heads too!

Some people, probably just simply cannot afford to pay for their own surgery and that is why most people have insurance in the US to begin with. Some simply do not elect to take a "chance" with that kind of money, and there are certainly "no quarantees", no matter where they have been going.....and again if they choose to spend their money on something else that is also their right, and they should not be condemned for that!

I have also seen allot of deception about several doctors over the years, not just the one in question now. I have seen allot of people who also had their pain return or never go away when going to the prefered doctors in the past, however it was kept quiet and if anyone "did" admit it they were bashed either on the board or in emails. This is "help"????

If you look back in the archives you will see what I mean, especially 2000 and 2001. This was "no different" than what is going on now, just a different doctor! I in no way mean to say any of the doctors are bad doctors but they are also not Gods, and shouldn't be made out to be such. Adhesions are a real problem and have a mind of their own, no matter how good the doctor is.

Until people start being compassionate to "everyone" no matter what they do or where they choose to go, and people start telling the truth whether it be good or bad, nothing will ever improve on this board or any of them for that matter. I am an individual with rights and I am not a follower. I make up my own mind and when people get pushy with me a red flag goes up and it should for everyone. I have found in my life if it's too good to be true it usually is!

Please don't base your decisions on just one or two people's good or bad outcome, because you could be very disappointed in the end, as many have been. I disagree with giving people false hope and unreal expectations. You must research on your own and be your own advocate. You must read between the lines and not jump to conclusions as well. If I had not done that I probably would be bankrupt by now and still in the same pain... and yes I am in "allot" of pain every minute and have very real and many problems in addition to adhesions. I deal with it on my own the best I can. I can understand desperation but am so glad I did not allow myself to be pushed into things when most vulnerable a few years ago, only to see allot of people still in pain "and" broke to boot later on!

I have been on several other medical support groups but none of them are pushy about specific doctors as they are and always have been on this board. I have never understood why people would lie about things because I am a very honest person (sometimes to a fault), and the lies and deception have always really bothered me. I "know" people do this and hide the facts, and there is no reason for this kind of behavior from adults.

"Many" people boast of their miracle cures, and I have no problem with that but they never post when and if their pain returns. Directly after a surgery does not tell you much at all because adhesions can start giving you problems again years after surgery which has always been the case with me. Yes, I also like to hear the immediate results but even more-so the long-term to base a "true" evaluation.

Why is everyone so afraid to speak the truth on this site? What in the world is there to hide, and from who?? Some just disappear in shame for still having pain, others keep it a "secret" so no-one gets mad at them, and you don't know the truth until they are heading for another surgery (if you are even made aware then). It has been said on the board people disappear because they are pain-free and enjoying life, which may be the case for some, but I also know it is not the truth for many others. You must keep your eyes and ears open for the contradictions and hypocrits.

We all have enough dealing with our pain and problems and problems with doctors not believing us, we don't need that from our support buddies as well. If I am condemned for this so be it, someone has to open the eyes on this board and genuinely care about people!

I will try to help anyone I can and give un-biased support. I am not on the internet to fight, just trying to make people see the light! I am "not" in any clique and have my own mind. I would just like to get along with everyone if possible, which I know is unrealistic.

JEAN

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Jean (from PA)

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