I just wanted to let you know that I am finally home, albeit in an extremely weak state. Actually, I am not at my mom's, but at my sister's and getting the best of care. I will try and explain all that transpired. I may not be able to do so in one sitting, but I will do my best.
On January 10th, I last posted that I had developed sepsis during the night and was having rigors (uncontrollable shaking). My doctor ordered me to go to the ER and be admitted. Everything there was handled very quickly, thank heavens. I was running a temp of 103.8 and they did find me to be septic. I don't know alot about what transpired after but I do know that they transferred me to the ICU the next day. As part of their trying to flush the infection from my system my lungs filled with fluid. Basically, I was drowning. I now have a new diagnosis....Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS). I wonder now if that wasn't a problem when I went into Respiratory Arrest back in 1999.
On January 12th, I was placed on a respirator. It went against everything I believed in when I signed the permission slip. I had already been a Do Not Rescusitate but had just assured my urologist that if something happened during the surgery they wanted to attempt, I would not be adverse to maybe three days on the respirator. How could I change my mind now? Once on the respirator I fought it pretty vigorously. At one point they took me down for a CT scan and despite having my hands wrapped, etc., managed to rip part of it out. I would also become extremely aggitated when people came around me...my heart rate would race along with other things. My blood pressure dropped to 60/30. I was dying. They then placed me in a drug-induced coma. My family was told that if I came out, I would not remember a thing. (That's not true at all!)
On January 21st, after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at removing me from life support, they decided to make the big step and just go right ahead and remove the respirator despite the fact that my blood levels didn't really indicate I was ready for it....I was either going to make it or break it. Thank the Lord, I made it. I think its because I kept hearing this one doctor repeatedly say that he had to keep looking for an answer because it would be one thing to lose me, but then they would have to deal with delivering a 24 week pregnant woman. Having already lost a son, I didn't want my daughter to lose another.
I spent the following 5 days trying to gain strength and cope with the ordeal that I had been through. It wasn't just a matter of getting better....there are a lot of psychological issues involved. The biggest one was going back to my original DNR status. I WILL NOT go through that again. This brought some arguments from family (particularly my daughter). Since I had survived this time, why wouldn't I do it again? Though I spent many hours of wonderful "travel" in my drug-induced state, it was an awful experience. I will not put my family through that again.
All the nurses were shocked when I walked into the halls. They kept telling me I was a cat and kept asking me how many lives I had used up?
I came home on Saturday. I have done nothing but lie around. I still cannot eat. I developed an awful case of thrush from the respirator and all the antibiotics and it has not gone away despite two different medications. I am now gargling with a hydrogen-peroxide solution in hopes that it will help. It hasn't yet, but with a call in to my doctor hopefully I can get somewhere. Having lost over 30 pounds in this ordeal and still being unable to eat, I am stuck drinking ENSURE (yuk)! Anyone with ideas on how to improve the taste let me know.
I must ask that no one email me personally at this time. I haven't had the strength to go clean out the box...I'm sure its overfull. I will be back to read here though.
I must give my heartfelt thanks to everyone for all of their thoughts, prayers, cards and words of encouragement throughout this time. I would also like to say thank you to my secret angel, Audrey :) for keeping you all updated.
God's blessings to you all!