Bev, I've sat with friends who were afraid to go to sleep too. I think it's one of the stages that a critically/terminally ill person experiences. I understand how difficult it can be to "Let go and let God"...
I do believe that you and Dr. Wiseman have given Karla a very important gift. Hope is so precious!
Please give Karla my luv. Wishing you pain free moments, hours and days. Clare
At Thu, 23 Jan 2003, Dr. David Wiseman wrote:
>
>Dear All
>Our thanks to Bev for giving us the following update on Karla, which she
>has me to post:
>
>--
>David Wiseman
>__________
>
>Bay Area Medical Center, Marinette WI
>
>Karla has been moved from ICU to a private room. She CAN NOT receive
>phone calls at this time as she remains weak and needs much rest! As we
>all know, it is one thing to deal with your body trying to heal itself
>when and how it can, but it is a whole nether issue when it comes to
>your emotions and thoughts. Karla has so much to deal with as she
>struggles to remain alive as in her case, her tomorrows will bring more
>sepsis infections and probable intensive medical interventions that are
>always life threatening to her!
>Your continued support for her is appreciated as well as an inspiration
>to all who post on the IAS message board. This is what the IAS message
>board is all about, responding to each one of you and your needs!
>
>Karla expressed joy at receiving so many wonderful words of
>encouragement and support, and of course love from her " family" in the
>IAS! Karla has been a recognized name on the IAS message board and has
>taken into her heart every single friend she has made through it as well
>as every single friend who she is yet to meet through it!
>
>Bev shared her visit with Karla last evening:
>Though Karla and I talk about everything, last night when she shared
>with me that she has signed a form NOT to be resuscitated in the event
>she has another massive sepsis, my response, unfortunately, was a simple
>cliché when I said, "You won't need to use that, Karla!" But my whole
>being went cold as I knew my words were probably not true! Karla was not
>going to let me off with a comment like that and we did talk about life
>and death agreeing that there are definitely things in a persons life
>that are worse then death! ( This is a line that Karla has used more
>then once in the past!)
>
>It is not easy for me to spend time with my long time friend, Karla,
>because it floods my mind and emotions of my walk with our friend
>Christina Buelteman who died at this same hospital from complications of
>ARD. ( see ARD quilt)
>I am not sure I have ever reconciled myself to Christina's death and now
>I must look into Karla's eyes as she looks a hole through me asking if I
>can help her. I will give her my 150% support, she knows that, but help
>her? We both know we are running out of options here, but we really
>don't say that, instead we plunge right into how we will tackle the
>medical team that is dealing with her ( four - five Dr.'s at this time)
>and we talk about getting this record and that one, what pain med's we
>will challenge them about and we talk about what future medical/surgical
>intervention we will look into for her! She really smiled when I told
>her that Dr. Wiseman and I were going to do everythning we could to
>make sure all her questions get answers so she is informed enough to
>make good decisions! I saw a flicker of hope in her eyes, how much can
>really be done for her we don't know, but we do know we will support her
>and do our best to get her information as she requests it!
>Karla and I discussed all those things to each other again, but this
>time we said far less about them, and it wasn't long when Karla started
>to drift off, and I told her we will finish planning our approach to her
>future medical care once she gets strong enough! She nodded and said, "
>Yup, I'll get some rest now and we will talk, right Bev?" " Yup, we will
>talk then Karla, try to sleep."
>
>Karla is so tired but she fears going to sleep thus wakes frequently
>depriving her body of rest, she is not eating well at all and remains on
>IV's due to dehydration. I offered to sneak some " Peppermint Snaps to
>her disguised in Hot Chocolate" ( we all know a nice warm cup of hot
>chocolate can help one rest..if prepared correctly that is!)
>Karla laughed, and a hearty laugh too! I prefer ending our conversations
>on an up beat note if at all possible because then I can picture her
>smiling when I think of her, and that is quit a lot! I do think that
>Karla will pull through this current bout of sepsis, for how long
>remains the big question, and one I can't alllow myself to dwell on or
>it will crush me emotionaly and I will be no good for her!
>
>It is not known how long she will be in the hospital, so I will close
>with these words, "One Day at a Time!"
>
>Gods Blessings and Love from Karla!
>
>Regards
>Bev
>