Re: Defecating Proctogram and Small Bowel Series

From: Tami (tamitorres@hotmail.com)
Sun Nov 10 04:43:27 2002


Dearest Jo, My prayers go out to you and your family. You have had to endure so much this year. I only wish there was more I could do for you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your friend, Tami

At Sat, 9 Nov 2002, Jo Eslick wrote: >
>Hello to all my friends and family on the IAS board....
>
>Yes it has been a while since my last visit, things have been pretty
>"upsidedown" for me here in the "land downunder" and I have had my share
>of invasive tests and the loss of another chunk of dignity.
>
>I thought it would be easier for me to just post the same message that I
>have on bombo's message board (in the online journal section). If you
>have any questions or comments I will be happy to answer them, just send
>me an email to joanne@bombobeach.com OR post a message here or on
>bombo's message board.
>
>I also have spoken to Sally Grigg since her return from Germany & she
>sounds FANTASTIC!! It was so wonderful to hear her sound so "up" and
>positive and she has a new bundle of energy! There is still some healing
>to do but overall she is thrilled with the results and it is nice to
>have a friend to share success stories about SprayGel, they also used
>six kits of SprayGel in her... the same number as used in me.
>
>While my surgery was a success in terms of getting rid of adhesions, I
>do have some permanent damage and the story I am posting now describes
>my experiences for just one day!! If you would like to know more about
>what is happening, visit http://www.bombobeach.com go to the message board,
>click on the heading "Online Journal" and you will find "Jo's Journal"
>hopefully that will help to answer some of your questions too.
>
>Yesterday was one of those days (Friday 8 November) where I can honestly
>say as informed, educated and determined I am to always be in control;
>of my medical situations and my treatments etc, yesterday challenged me
>greatly. The environment was very familiar to me as I have been a
>patient in this hospital several times just this year and I have been an
>out patient of the Endo/Gyn clinic since September last year. So when
>we stepped into the hospital foyer and I started to feel those familiar
>acrobats started up in my stomach, I knew that today was going to be
>difficult.
>
>Already running late due to unusually heavy traffic from Bathurst in the
>Central West of New South Wales into the city of Sydney we arrived, hot,
>harassed and already stressed.
>
>Before I go any further with my journal entry I want to thank YOU I
>could feel everyone around me yesterday, I really needed all of your
>positive energy coming my way....
>
>I am ok, I am still in a bit of pain from yesterday but not feeling
>quite as "woe is me" as last night, it was a very draining and emotional
>day & I had myself one of my rare "pity parties."
>
>I haven't got the results of the bowel tests yet, all I know is that
>every test I have done for my bowel has taken "longer than the usual"...
>The first test I had was a "defecating proctogram" no it is unpleasant
>and I was supposed to use a suppository an hour before arriving at 9am
>for the test... but the traffic was shocking & even though we left home
>at 5am, we didn't arrive at the hospital until after 9:30am!!
>
>So it was a long and arduous trip down, didn't do the suppository anyway
>I told the receptionist that I had used a Pico prep & then a Glico prep
>(both all our favourite bowel preps [NOT]) day before yesterday, so I
>said I was pretty sure there wasn't anything down “below” to get rid of
>anyway.
>
>Yes, we were late but everyone was great, because they knew the
>distances etc that we might not be arriving on time etc & everyone
>including Prof. Millard was very accommodating, so I had the
>"proctogram" first.
>
>So after changing into one of those attractive “gowns” I went into the
>x-ray room where thankfully Shane was waiting for me. I had to firstly
>lie on your side on the x-ray table. I was shaking pretty badly, and
>Shane was right there with me, holding my hand and reassuring me that it
>was ok. I haven’t felt this vulnerable for a long time and the feelings
>really took me by surprise.
>
>It might have been due to the weeklong Colon Transit Study last week,
>traveling back and forth to Orange a forty minute drive from our home
>caused great pain and discomfort for both Shane and I.
>
>We were both VERY relieved to see the end of that particular week.
>Eighty minutes traveling for fifteen minutes at the Nuclear Medicine
>Radiologist’s to take two x-rays everyday made it difficult for us to
>function for the rest of each day and we did the bare minimum to get us
>through that week.
>
>So, Shane said firstly the doctor inserted a hose into my rectum &
>filled me with air then he filled three huge syringes with the barium,
>that is way thicker than the stuff you drink.
>
>Then I had to sit on like a “portaloo” thing that was see through, it
>was sitting on the x-ray table. Once they had me positioned and the
>x-ray machine looking at the right area, I was asked to clench my anus,
>then relax it the whole time Shane could see what the doctors could see
>on the monitor, he said the only time my muscles moved was when I did
>the clenching.
>
>When I had to then "defecate" the barium, I couldn't do it so then he
>said do whatever you normally do to go.... so I pushed & strained, I
>couldn't feel anything coming out, but Shane said it was coming out ok.
>
>I got to a point where I just couldn't get rid of any more and so the
>doctor asked me to go and use the normal toilet to see if I could get
>rid of any more of the barium. I got rid of about two tablespoonfuls at
>the most, that was it. Once they helped me get positioned I had to try
>again and as much as I pushed and strained, I could get rid of any more.
>Once it was shown that I had lost the ability to "move" anymore on my
>own, he said that was it, I was finished
>
>Oh this was only the start of my misery yesterday, the small bowel
>series starts with drinking a cup & a half of this chalky barium
>contrast stuff, as quickly as possible so that it all goes through
>together as much as possible. Once I drank it I had to lay on the x-ray
>table on my right side to assist the barium to empty through my stomach
>and into the bowel. The first x-ray was taken about 15 minutes after
>the “drink” then she went away to check if it came out ok. She came
>back in & said you are still showing contrast from the other end (the
>proctogram earlier), and could I go to the toilet & see if I could get
>rid of it... I went to the toilet & I passed a little wind, no barium,
>I was starting to feel a little nervous and worried.
>
>The test took a lot longer than most people who have to have this done
>and I was also booked into see Prof. Millard (Urologist) at midday.
>Well midday came & went & at 12:45 pm they said, we are sorry, this is
>going through slower than expected it will be at least another hour!!
>
>I asked them to ring his rooms (only 3 suites away thank GOD) and they
>said fine, they would just fit me in between other patients so I had a
>few more x-rays done while on my stomach and by this time yes I was in
>pain & crying a little. The technician came back in & said the doctor
>had to take some final x-rays of my stomach & said that Shane had to
>leave the room (I don't think they wanted him to see how much this was
>hurting me).
>
>IT WAS AWEFUL
>
>They press this sandwich like x-ray machine down on your abdomen & the
>doctor took these pictures and had me roll left & right so he could hit
>particular spots, which were all the places that hurt like HELL!
>Thankfully I had my oxycodone with me & I was allowed to self medicate,
>so I took 20 mg before the start of the “sandwich” part (Thank goodness
>I did!)
>
>When he finished he was lovely & gave my arm a bit of a squeeze & said
>it's all over now... I am sorry that was so uncomfortable but it's the
>only way to get the pictures we need
>
>Shane was fixing up the paperwork at reception, I went back to the
>little change room & basically crumpled & just cried & cried, I was so
>miserable, in pain, distress, tired & wanted to be a little kid just
>getting cuddles & petted, I didn't want to be an adult all at that
>point. The technician ended up knocking on the door and asking if I was
>ok, I had managed to dress again by then & was fixing my hair a bit
>trying to pull myself back together before walking back out to reception
>
>Anyway then it was a dash around the corner to the prof's rooms he took
>one patient in while I was filling out paperwork. I still hadn't eaten
>anything since breakfast (I am diabetic Type 2), just before we left
>yesterday morning, I could feel a hypo coming on & thankfully had my
>machine with me and so I checked my sugar levels.
>
>Shane dashed out to the canteen & got me a packet of jellybeans to tide
>me over until I could eat something, I only needed half a dozen & then I
>felt ok, the shakes passed...
>
>Finally I got into see the Professor & by this time it was after 2:30pm
>he had the results of my urodynamics test from March and was checking
>all my answers to a questionnaire I had to fill out...
>
>After reviewing my answers to a questionairre I filled out earlier and
>quite a few additional questions and talking about all my surgeries
>since February 2000, anyway final bodily insult of the day... the
>dreaded “internal.”
>
>I peeled off my clothes for the third time that day & climbed up onto
>the table (when I was telling Anthea & Nancy this story earlier today
>Nancy suggested I was turning into an exhibitionist! Not by choice Nancy
>my friend, not by choice!!
>
>I have to say he was VERY gentle I appreciated that VERY much after
>everything I had been through... anyway he was feeling around, things
>were fine & then he went up and found this spot that lifted me clear off
>the table!
>
>Then he asked if that was the pain that made me have the "urgency" to go
>to the toilet & I said yes, so then he felt a few other places & said so
>this, this or this doesn't hurt and I said yep, when he went down I said
>just pressure & a bit uncomfortable on my anus, and he said yes that’s
>right.
>
>He went straight back up & said but when we get here I lifted off the
>table again he said that’s the sensitive spot, right?? Naturally I
>responded squeakily YES!!
>
>It turns out that when we have surgery & have a catheter in for more
>than 24hours, in "some people" (which naturally always includes me) the
>catheter irritates the internal lining of the bladder and it becomes
>damaged.
>
>He explained the only way to fix it is day surgery he said it takes SIX
>WEEKS for it to heal & a new lining to grow & he said YES it is painful
>Well he said that it MIGHT have to be done twice & providing I don't
>have catheters in again longer than 24 hours it should, SHOULD be ok, so
>I cried buckets & was pretty much shaking and was a bit of a blubbering
>mess.
>
>I really TRUST this doctor, he is like Jason, he KNEW just from how I
>described my symptoms etc what was wrong with me, the internal was to
>simply verify his diagnosis. Only my urgency problems that mean I might
>get to sleep for more than two hours at a time from after the surgery &
>it’s healed... will be fixed.
>
>You see I had been clinging onto this thin thread of a possibility that
>the self-cathetrisation could be done away with what upset me the most
>about that consultation was his conformation that catheters would be a
>part of my daily routine for the rest of my life.
>
>No, surgery can't fix it and I know that bowel & bladder problems are
>closely linked.... because several muscles are used for both defecating
>& emptying the bladder. So, I KNOW that really, my bladder problems
>have only just begun & I am going to have a long relationship with Prof.
>Millard...
>
>My bowel specialist suspects, that vital nerves were damaged during that
>horrendous operation (hysterectomy). Shane told me that apart from my
>anus, NOTHING else moved during the whole test (The earlier proctogram),
>So I guess the bottom line so far catheters are my friends for life and
>as for my bowel, I will have to wait and see what the results of the
>tests are and what the bowel specialist recommends.
>
>That's what rocked me more than anything yesterday, because until then,
>there was still a crack in that window.... but Prof. slammed it shut,
>as he should.... need to face up to it & get on with it.
>
>I think about the "rest of my life" bit that really hits, I am only 39 &
>have more health problems than my 65 yr old Mother!
>
>The bowel thing.... well there is this funny feeling in the pit of my
>stomach about that... I am just honestly not sure how much more I can
>cope with right now.
>
>If George says he recommends the bag.... I truly can't tell you what my
>reaction or response to it will be. (He mentioned it as a possibility
>during our recent consultation).
>It scares me to death though I will admit that & every time Shane looked
>directly into my eyes yesterday, I could see his pain for me... I could
>see him struggling to hold it together so he could be there for me to
>lean on while he was being torn apart himself...
>
>I just love him so much & I HATE it that he is hurting for me I HATE it
>that I am putting him through this & I HATE it that the car accident
>happened and put us under so much pressure, we both feel as though we
>are going to burst... he is struggling with incredible pain himself but
>he is pushing it aside for me!
>
>Nancy and Anthea said they wished they could be here with me today and I
>appreciate their sentiment so much but I wouldn't even let Annie call me
>on the phone, I am not ready to face anyone outside the family yet. I
>know I feel the same way about all of you so often I read your messages
>on the board and the private emails you send me... so especially now
>that I have all these great doctors to help me while so many of you are
>struggling along on your own... (I expressed this feeling with Anthea
>and Nancy too).
>
>Sometimes it makes me feel pretty selfish about it all especially when I
>talk to my friends like Browkenwing, Nancy Anthea, Millie and so many
>others.... all struggling the whole time I have known them.... Some of
>them I have known since before my last three major surgeries! So many of
>you can’t seem to find a decent doctor to help you find a reasonable
>pain management doctor let alone a family doctor to help and support you
>and at least make sure you have enough pain medication or support to
>help you live with at least some comfort once in a while!!
>
>I can't believe what bombo has given me since I started it... and I
>always feel humbled but good when I get letters or read messages that
>say bombo has helped someone else too.... I am so thrilled that I can
>share my beach with ALL of YOU.... I just wish we could ALL take a
>stroll along it TOETHER just once, the REAL beach...
>
>That’s why I called it bombobeach.com, because I wanted to share
>something with all of you, bombo has always been a haven for me given me
>comfort and helped me find peace during stressful times and particularly
>bad pain attacks. The point is bombo is hope, peace, friendship, faith,
>passion, helping yourself, education... all the things I try and use to
>help me cope in a crisis. Like the one I am having now. It is bombo I
>have turned to last night and most of today to find comfort and support
>from YOU all of my ARD family and wonderful special friends. I have
>walked along bombo in my mind, drawing on my store of happy memories of
>an awesome, strong and breathtakingly beautiful. Yes it has calmed me,
>as writing this now and talking with Annie, Nancy and Anthea today on
>msn messenger.
>
>I have been torn emotionally today between grieving for the loss of a
>fully functional bladder and for the still “unknown” problems with my
>bowel. I was beating myself up as we drove home from Sydney late
>yesterday and then last night as I chatted with Kanga and this morning
>before talking to Annie.
>
>I know that there are those of us in our ARD family who face bigger
>daily challenges, but sweet Annie reminded me about my own advice, our
>own pain & allowing ourselves to grieve for what is lost and must be
>endured. I am scarred about what else this could lead to, although I
>don't intend to waste time thinking about it too much, I have to admit
>yesterday afternoon after the whole ordeal was over & we finally sat
>down to eat.... I was devastated and I still can't think about it or
>write about it without the tears just spilling out of their own accord!
>
>I don't have adhesions anymore BUT they were there long enough to do
>some damage and the true consequences of my Hysterectomy are only just
>now coming to light. I think that is what has hit me so hard, I keep
>feeling guilty, because I almost died during that surgery but I did
>survive and I have survived countless other invasive procedures and
>major surgeries since then. The thought of facing still more is a
>little daunting and depressing. The guilt comes from feeling as though
>I have been cheated even though I AM alive... sweet Annie has told me
>that I do need to grieve & feel sorry for myself for a while.... the
>trick is not to let it go on too long right??
>
>Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, messages and email, I love you all
>and I will do whatever I can to love & support you no matter how great
>the distance between us.
>
>With love & warm gentle hugs,
>Jo
>
>--
>Joanne Eslick
>Founder Australian Adhesions Support Group
>http://www.bombobeach.com
>NSW Australian Co-ordinator of
>International Adhesions Society
>http://www.adhesions.org
>
>--
>I am not a medical person, and all my messages are based
>on personal experience. I am a fellow adhesions sufferer
>reaching out to help others.
>


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