Re: Thank you all

From: Sl72396@aol.com
Thu Aug 22 12:01:16 2002


Angie, Oh my goodness!!! Girl are you sure you are not living my life!!!!! lol. Yes I have nausea I take promethazine almost everyday for it!!! And terrible leg pains, and Yes I have the bladder pain too, I just went to a new urologist yesterday at the University of Tn. I have had blood in my urine for a week now, they told me at first they thought it was kidney stones because of the pain I was having with it, now they don't know. Let me tell you a story about bladder leakage, it may sound kinda funny now, but it wasn't when it happened. We had just gotten to the University of Tn medical center, yesterday, I had 2 doctor appointments there, and I had to go to the bathroom bad, my bladder felt like it was about to burst!!! So I go in, sit down on the toilet and as usual have to push to "pee" then I go then I stop etc.... Finally I think I am through so I give it one final push just to make sure, nothing else comes out so I stand up and SWOOSH!!!!! Soaked my panties!!!!!! Luckily I hadn't pulled up my khaki's yet, so I had to take my panties off, wrap them in toilet paper and put them in the trash!!!!!! And go around the whole day with do panties on, and believe me it didn't feel in the least bit a sexy thing lol. I am having a couple of test done on 9/11 ( of all days) to try and pinpoint the problem, they think they know what it is and if they are right then when I have my vaginal cuff repair surgery and Lap, they are going to come in and do their thing too and try and fix the problem!!!! The gyn did finally give me some info yesterday as to why I fall and have this terrible leg pain, he said that when I had my last surgery in Feb, apparently the vaginal incision did not heal properly and some nerves were more than likely "sewn" up in the incision, which are now trapped and causing me to fall a lot. Also what you said about "relations" with your husband, I can count on 1 hand how many times we have made love since Feb. to me that is really depressing, because when I had my last ovary removed and hit full fledged menepause, I have become "easily excited" I want to all the time!!!! We are trying to find new and exciting ways to handle that, but my wonderful hubby now seems kinda scared to touch me, afraid that he will hurt me in some way, so that kinda puts a damper on things. I have all these crazy fears that he is just going to find someone else, but the one thing that puts me back on track is the fact that he loves his family and is a good christian man. He is on the road from about 7 in the morning to 7 and sometimes later at night, he works for Sears as a Assoc. so I know there are probally a lot of times when the "human man" side is there, and he is probally tempted. My good friend Tish, has really been a source of strength for me lately in dealing with my fears. And it helps so much coming here and reading others stories like your, and know that I am not alone in these constant struggle, even though my heart goes out to everyone, like you when I read your post. I lay awake at night sometimes and remember what my life use to be like and I just cry!!!! I use to be a very perfect house cleaner and now I have to live with a not so perfect clean house, and it drives me crazy!!!! My children are wonderful and just help me so much, that at least most of the house stays nice but there are a couple of rooms that just don't get the attention they use to. By the way how old are your kids? Mine are 19(and he lives away at college now) and 16, 14, 12, 10, the oldest 2 are my stepsons but I have raised them the last 6 years. I now homeschool the 4 that are at home, and we have a great time a lot of days I bring them in my room one at a time and we sit on my bed and do their lessons, and that is just so special to me, We have another family that we get together with, they have 3 children, and the kids all play together or do school work together. and on weekends my husband takes them all out for 2 or 3 hours and they go shoot pool or play video games, and then the kids go to their friends house for sleep overs and such and they go to karate with a great bunch of kids. Well I have got to get off here sorry to just go on and on. I hope you have a peaceful day, Angie and I will be praying for you. Please email me back when you have time, I really feel we have a lot in common!!!!! God Bless, Shawnna L. P.s. If you don't mind me asking, Where do you live? I am in Arkansas.

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