Sayings Taken From People's T-Shirts
1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't!
2) I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-
room-spinning-medicine.
13) God must love stupid people. He made so many.
14) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
16) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
17) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
18) Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
19) Procrastinate now.
20) Finally 21 and legally able to do everything I've been
doing since I was 15.
21) All men are idiots and I married their king.
22) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
23) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
24) Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.
25) Discourage inbreeding -- ban country music.
26) Time's fun when you're having flies...Kermit the Frog.
27) Police station toilet stolen...Cops have nothing to go on.
28) For Sale - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
29) Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.
30) Welcome to Kentucky - Set your watch back 20 years.