>>>----- Original Message -----
>From: joanne@bombobeach.com
>Sent: Sunday, June 02, 2002 10:21 AM
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
>Subject: Yep I'm home again :-)
>
>Hello all,
>
>As you know the last few moths have been a considerable strain on me and
>my family. So much has happened, I am not going to get into it all
>right now, but I am going to say something that will I am sure surprise
>most of you.
>
>The bubbly, positive try to help others Joey has disappeared for a
>while. There are many personal and family reasons for my present mood
>and the fact that I am not around much lately.
>
>I have thought a lot about whether to say anything about what helped put
>me in this mood, but decided it was time. I wrote out a rather lengthy
>letter yesterday, but somehow it got lost in cyber space, and so I find
>myself once again trying to explain things.
>
>Since I found the IAS in February 2001 and I have done my best to
>welcome newcomers, empathies with those needing some sympathy, a friend
>- really just someone to listen (or read...) who had an understand what
>life is like living in our kind of pain and overcoming the disabilities
>that often come with it.
>
>After my six weeks in hospital and five and a half hours of surgery and
>then a car accident an hour after being released from hospital, sending
>my family back to a busy ER for two days was bad enough! Every time I
>see a wagon like the one we had I feel sick, our business has crumbled
>because Shane's injuries have been too bad to work and our children are
>of-course traumatized by the whole thing.
>
>I left hospital on 10 mg oxycontin twice a day and I was so proud! I was
>pleased and excited, I couldn't WAIT to get home & experiment and see
>how much housework I could do!
>
>I didn't need to self catheterise to empty my bladder after the surgery
>either, my body from my ribs down to my lower pelvic area didn't feel
>like my stomach was going to fall off if I did as little as cook a meal
>for my family! After the car accident, that changed
>again....catheterisation was there again and so was the pain and a new
>level of pain and fear. I HATE driving anywhere now, and when I have to
>go to Sydney in a few weeks to see my surgeon, Shane & I are traveling
>down by train, which will add an extra hour onto our trip.
>
>I was lonely and feeling really low, I needed my IAS family....my pain
>was increasing along with my pain medication, I came back to the board,
>I had found that my determination and spirits were lifted by the
>messages left on the board by others, and by me answering and reaching
>out to help others.
>
>Whether you have noticed or not, my recent posts have been few and far
>between, and the reason is because I feel the true spirit of this board,
>which is the freedom of speech and opinions help along with hearing
>about other sufferers experiences with certain situations etc. has been
>compromised. I answered a few letters, and yes I admit that when I
>re-read my response, there were a few places where further explanation
>would have helped however, it was the way in which my "shortcomings"
>were brought to my attention which hurt the most.
>
>Instead of sending me an email asking me if there was something wrong,
>or showing concern for me…. or saying perhaps it was still a li tle too
>soon for me to be active on the board, these people chose to pull apart
>my messages, line by line, both commenting and analyzing what I meant!
>Of course using this approach meant that often the message was taken out
>of context and sounded completely absurd!
>
>Instead of doing what I would normally do in these situations, I
>reacted, instead of responding with a clear head and a calmer heart. By
>now you will have guessed that I was hurt, deeply hurt, no actually
>shattered is closer to my feelings.
>
>I have been living with a great deal of stress …. The ripple af ect of
>not only the attack on me by people I thought were my friends, but the
>affects of our car accident, my surgery and other personal family issues
>I am close to the edge. I really don't know how to explain the
>intensity and the weight of the pressure, disappointments I have lived
>with lately and I felt the need to let you know that I am not ignoring
>you, I am trying to explain how much I miss you all & how much I need
>you, from Chrissie and her poor gentle angels who live with Chrissies
>haphazard and dangerous ways (we all remember the famous toe in the
>faucet incident….) Helen & Mary with their dry senses of humour, Nancy
>and her determination to make two separate houses into one happy and
>comfortable home, to Clare and her genuine concern for others….B enda
>and her funny jokes she sends me…..because of all of these reaso s I am
>NOT going to let the opinion of two drive me away from my friends and
>family!!
>
>All I ask of you by me telling you all of this, is because it has to
>stop. The petty bitching and fighting, the "back door" emails picking
>on someone …. We are all hurting my friends, we are all frustra ed and
>some of us bitter with the life we have been left to live with. Only
>love, concern, friendship and support should be allowed to be fostered
>on this board. Each of us is unique, and so we handle the pain and the
>disabilities in different ways. We also have a unique way of responding
>to letters….. and we should respect and honour that others righ to
>that opinion.
>
>My stay in hospital was for pain relief, as the pressures weighed on me
>to the point I was no longer coping and my pain was out of control. 48
>hours having morphine injections which did help bring my pain under
>control, it is better but my soul still stings and my head feel foggy
>and confused. I KNOW I will get through this, BUT I ask that on the IAS
>site & bombobeach.com, we restrain from criticising others, and
>celebrate instead the opportunity we have to share friendship and love
>with others living similar nightmares to our own. That’s all I ave…..
>I hope I can face you all again very soon, because your are precious to
>me and helped me through so much this last year and a half…. I on't
>forget, but I can't come back until I feel in my heart that I am ready.
>
>--
>Love and gentle hugs,
>Joanne Eslick
>Founder Australian Adhesions Support Group
>http://www.bombobeach.com
>NSW Australian Co-ordinator of
>International Adhesions Society
>http://www.adhesions.org
>
>--
>I am not a medical person, and all my messages are based
>on personal experience. I am a fellow adhesions sufferer
>reaching out to help others.
>