Hell-yun

From: rowdyladyrose@aol.com
Wed Mar 20 09:46:19 2002


Sweet lady!

Feel What I Feel

So you think I'm a drug seeker, well, you're right.

You think I take too many drugs, again, you are right.

But if you could feel what I feel, you'd know you are also wrong.

Getting up in the morning, not having really slept.

Trying to stretch out stiffness, just to give up for the pain of any movement.

Warming up a heating blanket and a heating pad, before heating up some coffee.

Reaching for some item I need, ending up bent over from spasms.

Step by slow agonizing step, making my way toward the recliner and warmth.

Watching my family at play and having fun, knowing I would be out of it for days if I joined in.

Then, trying to hold down a job, only to lose it for far too many absences.

Facing the doctor, trying not to cry, for that only means to her that I am depressed.

Hearing "I can no longer help you", restarting the search for a compassionate doctor.

A doctor that won't label me or turn me away, but give me the relief I desperately need.

Call me a 'drug seeker' if you wish, I'd prefer that to 'successful suicide'.

--
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it
poorly.

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