> > > > REAL WOMEN VS. MARTHA STEWART > > > > Martha's way #1: > > Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar > > cone to prevent ice cream drips. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for > > Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your > > feet up, eating it anyway. > > > > Martha's way #2: > > To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag > > with the potatoes. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the > > pantry for up to a year. > > > > Martha's way #3: > > When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use > > a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any > > white mess on the outside of the cake. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. > > > > Martha's way #4: > > If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still > > cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the > > excess salt for an instant "fix me up." > > The Real Women's Way: > > If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too > > damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I > > made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it > > tastes. > > > > Martha's way #5: > > Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the > > refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Celery? Never heard of the stuff. > > > > Martha's way #6: > > Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking > > to yield a beautiful glossy finish. > > The Real Women's Way: > > The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include > > brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it. > > > > Martha's way #7: > > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it > > on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you > > can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime > > juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache > > anymore, YOU'RE NOW BLIND! > > > > Martha's way #9: > > If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex > > dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes > > opening jars easy. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. > > > > Martha's way #10: > > Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice > > cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. > > The Real Women's Way: > > Leftover wine??????