-- Oh Cathy! How I love you!Thank you so much!
You have moved me in ways I can hardly describe!
I will think long and hard about what you've said. And I will talk about it with John. I think he'll totally agree with you!
You know he's gotten to dislike my parents so much that he hates it when we have to go and visit them. He always ends up feeling sick before hand, and ends up with a terrible headache.
My family has no idea what kind of impact my pain etc has on John. He suffers to but MOST people do not even consider that possibility!
My family just think that John hasn't provided for me enough - since we're living in an unfinished home. They're disgusted with us because we care so little about MONEY and material things. They accuse him of only thinking of himself - that he has nice things, and that I always come second. John absolutely loves being in the fire brigade - and he spends time there on Tuesday evenings as well as a few hours on Saturday afternoon's - I support John doing this - I know that he needs to have this in his life - he'd be miserable without it - plus he needs to spend some time on something he enjoys where he does not need to worry all the time about me. John worries about me all the time - he has already sacrificed so many things for me - and for my welfare. He pays a pretty high premium for my health insurance, he pays for my medications which are not subsidised, he always thinks of me before he thinks of himself, if there's anything I need - he gets it for me. He's always there for me - he rings me up almost every hour on the hour when he is at work to make sure that I am alright. He wears a beeper especially so that should I need him and he's away from the phone that I can beep him - and he rings me back straight away. If he can't take me to the doctor he arranges for his best friend to do it - and he gives him the money for the petrol. He cooks for me when I can't. He cleans for me when I can't. He hangs up the washing. He encourages me to keep on going when i don't think I can. When I'm in theatre for another op he's waiting till I come out - and he holds my hand when I'm in pain. He never complains. NEVER. He does the grocery shopping. he pays the bills. If anything unpleasant happens and he thinks I can't deal with it he hides it from me - until such a time that he thinks I can handle it. He loves me, no matter how I act, how I treat him, or how sick I may be. So many people always comment on what a terrific guy I'm married to - they marvel at his strength and his loyalty. But my family refuse to see any of it.
And that hurts.
I'm going to tell John exactly what you said - I'll get him to read it - and I'm going to ask my solicitor what I can set up so that if anything were to happen to John that my parents would not have the rights to make those decisions on behalf of myself - and that we appoint somebody else.
Thank you. You're a darling.
Love,
Lin